Mr beast and reader

The feeling of loss

Jimmy's pov

I can't breathe. I can't think. Why would this happen to us? I can't even imagine what Y/n is going through. If I could change what happened I would. Christina died... Why? Why god why? Christina was just a child. She was the preciousness in our life. Christina was born with a heart problem. Her heart just gave up. Where at the hospital and Y/n is crying on the floor saying it was her fault. I lean down and hug her. She embraces me and cries. 

"It is not your fault." I say.

"Yes it is, my mom warned me this could happen. I ignored it because I really wanted kids." She says.

"Babe, its ok. She didn't die because you didn't listen to your mom, she died because her heart failed." I say comforting her. 

We stay in the hug as if it were the only safe space from everything. Y/n calls Chris and Chandler to take care of Catherine. They agree and we stay at the hospital. After we take care of the doctors Chandler shows up. 

"Where is Catherine?" Y/n says. 

"Chris is taking care of her right now. I am here to drive you guys home." He says. We comply and walk out. We walk to the car. I open the car door for Y/n. She gets in and so do I. As I get in she grabs my arm and lays on my shoulder crying. 

Y/n pov

"You said you had my back so I wonder where were you." (Maps-Maroon 5) I think about that quote and almost break into tears again. Why was she taken from us. I can't take this anymore. The only things keeping me from breaking down are Jimmy and Catherine. I can't leave them. I lay my head on Jimmy's shoulder and start crying. I will aways miss her and love her but I can't let her death affect them. I know I promised to share these problems with Jimmy but I don't want to see him hurt anymore. Jimmy hurting will kill me. I look at him and see the sadness in his eyes. I can't fix this for him. I kiss his cheek to let him know I am here. He looks at me and a tear leaves his eyes. "I feel this love and I feel it burn." (counting stars- one republic) (btw I have my music on and these are the songs on here.)  When we get home I can't move. Jimmy had enough strength to pick me up into our bedroom. He places me on the bed. He gets in right next to me. He wraps his arms around me and I fall asleep." We spent the late nights making things right between us." (Girls Like You- Maroon 5) 

Jimmy's pov

 As my arms are around Y/n I fall asleep. Her presence at this time makes me feel so comfortable. I will always miss our dear child Christina. "You will watch me bleeding till I can't breathe." (Stitches- Shawn Mendez/ 3LAU Remix.) The feeling of loss can be greater than love. If you make it that way. I just have to remember Christina but not go into a depression because she's gone. I should move on for her but not forget her. "Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go." (Let her go- Passenger/ Naerik Remix.) "I will always love you Christina." I whisper.

Y/n pov

I faintly hear as I fall asleep Jimmy whisper "I will always love you Christina." 

"It was a big, big world, but we thought we were bigger." (7 years- Lukas Graham/ DYTONE Remix.) I was to eager to have kids I didn't think about having to watch them parish. I can not watch this again. I will be there but I will not let my kids or my husband go through the pain and suffering. She was only seven years old. (In honor of the song and sorry I don't know if her age lines up with the story.) She shouldn't have to go through that. Im gonna give her mercy. "Baby please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart. Even though you don't mean to hurt me. You keep tearing me apart." (Mercy- Shawn Mendez/ Loote Remix) 

I wake up in the morning completely unaware of what happened last night. I walk to the bathroom and take a shower. I get out and put my clothes on like nothing happened. I walk out to make some eggs for Jimmy and I. Jimmy wakes "I need somebody to heal. Somebody to lose. Somebody to hurt. Somebody to hold. Its easy to say but its never the same. I guess I kinda love the way you are numb to the pain.---- you get me through it all." (Someone you loved- Lewis Capaldi/ Laibert Remix.) Jimmy looks at me like I just killed a cat.

 "What babe?" I say still not remembering.

"I just never expected you to be in a good mood because of yesterday..........." He says. As if those were the magic words to take away my temporary amnesia. "Just say you won't let go^4 times." (Say You Wont Let Go- James Arthur/ Muffin Remix.) I dropped the pan of eggs and the plate in my hand. I drop to my knees and cry. Jimmy rushes over to me and grabs me in a hug. I decided after three minutes like that I would remember her in only the good ways. She was smart, kind, beautiful, and my baby girl. she was the kid that I surprised Jimmy with. 

Flashback in Jimmy's pov.

This is a moment I could never forget. I walked to the recording room and saw pettles outside the closed door. I opened it to reveal candles, more pettles  and y/n in a (fav colors) dress. She looks so beautiful. (If it's bolded it's Jimmy. If it's not it's you.)

"I have something really important to tell you."
I walk over to y/n and grab her; when I feel her shake.
"What ever I is I'm here for you."
I smile but then start to frown because after what I tell him things might be different.(e)
"I will always love you y/n" (*screeching* awe so cute😍🤩😘😍🤩😋😝😛😜😏🤫🤭🤯😈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤😽😻♥️💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💌❣️💟💔💋💯💢💥🔥✨💨)
I hug Jimmy so tight I feel his muscles contracting trying to hold me in his hug. I love Jimmy but should I tell him. What I he hates me. What if he loves me but doesn't what to keep it. Should I just get to the point now. I love Jimmy so much but I this makes him not love me I could die. He wouldn't do that especialy because we're getting married. I don't know how but I think the condom busted the day he proposed.
Im waiting over here wondering what she's thinking about but I can basically see she's thinking about something important.
Im just going to tell him. Plz want it. Plz stay. Plz....don't leave me............................................................."I am pregnant Jimmy."
I'm shocked what do I say to that. The only thing i know for sure is I want this baby and I will do anything for her and the kid. Wait that's what I should say.
"I love you y/n so much, I will respect your decision but I want to keep the child and i hope you do too. "
I wrap my arms around his neck and we stay there for the rest of the night. 

Jimmy's pov 

"I don't want to go to work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. You can work from home." (Work From Home- Fifth Harmony/ Muffin Remix.) I can't go to work today. I think people will understand or the others will take over. I just can't. I have to be here for Y/n.

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