last on the list

chapter 8

I heard the front door open, It was Shawn. He made his way upstairs not knowing i was there. "hey" I said quietly.

He lifted his head up and smiled brightly, and ran towards me. He lifted me up in his arms,"I missed you so much"! He said while hugging me tightly.

I smiled while he let go. "so you ready for me to tell you"?

"yeah" he said sitting on the window bench, as did I, but putting my back against the side wall and my legs were pulled up to my chest.

I looked down and in-haled loudly, "so on my suicide note I had a list of things that had me ,you know ." I said, referring to why I killed myself.

"yeah" Shawn said putting his hand on my knee in comfort.

"So I think that If I do all though things, I would be able to leave, for good". I finished and looked up to his hazel eyes.

"so wheres the list"?

I looked down "its probably in my file, or my parents took it". I said sadly.

he looked down, "well maybe you could re-write it"? he asked.

"Shawn I'm home you want to go down to that Chinese food place''? Shawn's mom yelled form down stairs, since she just got home.

Shawn looked over to the door, then back at me. "I'm going to go with my mom and you could write the list" he said grabbing me a pen and paper from his book bag for school. Then gave it to me.

"okay, i'll try" I said grabbing the pen and paper from him.

"okay i'll be back", he said touching my shoulder. Then left, well better get going writing.

I put the paper by me on the bench and started writing the list.

1. to be confident

2.have a boy like me

3.become close with someone

4.laugh more

5.smile more

6.talk to people more

7.do something teenagers do that's crazy

8.have my first kiss

9. stand up to Shelby and here group

10.

I got to 10, "well maybe I don't have to do all to move on. Then I looked over it, what if Shawn thinks its stupid. But he's different, then how he was before he knew about me.

I'm different from how I was before I knew him.