last on the list

chapter 7

Authors note( pay attention to her list)

I haven't talked to hope for 2 days. Shawn thought again today getting nervous about her. Its been 2 days is she okay? Does she hate me?

***hopes pov***

I disappeared. But i was still there he was pacing around the room. Is he okay? I want to tell him, but how, I don't know if I can face him.

He then layed onto the bed. I walked over to him. Hes so beautiful, He's different. Like hes been hurt, like he hide behind his popularity. The way he looked at me made me feel......safe.

I layed by him on the bed, onto my side. he's a little taller than me. his hazel eyes were wandering around the room in thought. he had cute little freckles on the apples of his cheeks and on the bridge of his nose. But you could only notice if you were close. His chest would rise then fall as he breathed. And this was the moment I wanted something I haven't wanted for the past few years, Is to be alive.

*****end

****flash back of hopes life****

Mom was gone for work so was dad, I was alone after school. I ran home,Its been a year of ALL this, and I'm sick of it all. I took out the note that I've written and re-written thousands of times. You would think I would be bauling right now but I've been ready for the past months. I started filling up the tub. and sat on the counter, re-reading my note so i knew it had everything i wanted of it.

I'm sorry,

I couldn't handle it, I love you mom and dad. I wish you guys raised me different, cause maybe i would be able to do the things i never could. like,

stand up to Shelby the most popular girl

1.was confident

2.have a boy like me

3.talk to people more

4.become close friends with someone

5.laugh more

6.smile more

7.have my first kiss

8.do something crazy like teenagers do

9.stand up to shelby the most popular girl

10.fall in love

"yeah that's good" i mumbled to my self. I layed the note on the bathroom counter, and walked over to the tub. The tub was filled, I twisted the nob off. Then I walked over to the sink cupboard a got my razor. I walked over to the tub fiddling with the sharp edge on ly thumb. I stepped down into the water, and lowered myself down, the ends of my hair were wet. A single tear fell from my eye running down my cheek. My cloths were sticking to my skin since it was wet. I got the razor and slit my wrist. drips of blood moved down my arm and plopped into the water. I put my arms all the way into the water and moved my bod down so only my head was out of the water. I started to feel light headed, I mumbled "goodbye" into the empty air. Then dipped my whole head in the water. my eyes closed, and I knew it was over. I'd be happy.

Well I thought that was the end.