Academy days (Book 2 of IA)

[18] Confusion

My world went still.

My breath held, but nothing else.

For the past 4 months, I have imagined thousands of times what would I say to her, when I saw her again. And there she was, in another man's arms.

My world shuddered a little, and it wasn't at the cold.

"Fresh meat..."

I stared.

"Fresh meat!..."

And stared.

And sharp slap stung across my face, forcing my head to turn away.

"Pull your shit together FRESH MEAT!" Isa yelled, grabbing me by the collar.

"..." My eyes went to Isa for a moment, then returned my gaze back to Illyria.
Isa, in a fit of frustration, shoved me back a few steps. But even her monstrous force wasn't enough to tear my eyes away from the sight.

By that time, everyone, including the other side began to notice what I was staring at, or at least which direction.
It wasn't the hateful expression on Wynd's impossibly handsome face, but the one slightly below that. Yes, the face I couldn't wipe from my memory, it was as if someone burned into my mind with a flaming seal. Leaving a mark for eternal. But it wasn't just the brand, it went much deeper than that. Then with glued eyes and tempered silence, she climbed down from Wynd's arm and slowly turned her head towards us.

We met eyes.

The emotional dam I have been building up for the past 4 months, simply vaporized, causing a flash flood of emotions. And not knowing which one to cling on, I drowned in them all.
Happiness, anger, sorrow, then happy again.

​"Interesting." Amare licked her upper lip, her voice all high and full of malice.

​"What's so interesting?" I stepped forward and challenged.

"Kardusenn right? I heard quite a bit about you. 'The hero who saved the city', 'the one who killed Soulsteel.' And 4 metal limbs, right?"

The first was kind of exaggerated, the second was only partially the truth. But the third was living hard fact, and I clenched my teeth to the point, I could taste the blood in my mouth.

What do they know about me? THOSE PIECES OF SHIT!!!

Rage had dictatorship of my mind. It could not no longer sustain anything but rage. And ignoring everything else around me, I began to draw small steps towards Amare's group.
There was voices calling from behind me. But it didn't reach me. Nothing could reach me at that point. I was beyond reason, I was rage.

I will tear that bitch to pieces...

My fingers curled in wrath.

As long I get my fingers around her neck...

I got about halfway to them, all of them just standing there watching me. Then in less than blink of an eye, Wynd was in my face, and I barely had the instinct to raise my arm to block his punch. This was no ordinary street thug punch, the force of it was beyond anything I imagined. It was like trying to catch an anvil that was travelling at the speed of a bullet. My world was knocked out for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself lying at the foot of the gargantuan fortress. The distance I had been knocked back was unreal, it had to be at least 100 meters, like a short distance teleport. I tried to sit up only to find myself spitting and coughing out blood to the side. With cold breath, I attempted to prop myself up one more time, then realised my arm was unresponsive. And it only took a glance for me to realise, that from the elbow down, the arms were crushed in like a squezed soda can.

"Oof!"

Whatever rage I had inside me previously, was knocked out, leaving only emptiness behind. My limbs and body trembled, but no words came. And I barely even noticed when Wynd landed beside me.

The two of us stared at each other in eye, but neither of us spoke a word. I couldn't tell what expression I wore at that time, because it was like half frozen already. Wynd however was shadowed and impassive.

"You..." he said with a grim tone drawing his rapier.

"Do you really care about my lady?" he asked, pointing his rapier at me.
I knew he meant Veritas, but at that moment, I didn't know how to reply, or even if I was sure I wanted to reply to the question in the first place.
A few seconds passed and the silence hung between us. Then without warning, there was a flash of silver in front of eyes. I closed my eyes, only to reopen them to find my entire right arm separated from my body. There was no pain, but the view itself was certainly unwelcoming.

"Answer me. Do you care about my lady?"

I was more forced to answer this time, but when I didn't respond in time, my left arm was gone in a single swipe.

"Yes..." I drew in a shaky breath.

"Do you love her then?"

Ok, now, the only person I have previously been in love with and obsessed over was Illyria. But ever since the terrorist attack and we haven't seen each other for 4 months, even that concept of 'love' was coming apart. Now, it was no more than a ruin of a past crush. But Veritas was different, she was new in my life. I didn't really see her as a lover actually, but more as a senior who helped me out. I guess, I could call her a friend at that point. But saying she was a possible love interest, is just simply way out of my league. Though I certainly wouldn't object to such a relationship, if it were to be possible now.

​Wynd growing impatient, sliced off one of my legs and kicked it aside.

"Answer the question..." Wynd lifted up his rapier again shouting, "DO YOU LOVE HER!?"

I feel like, if I said yes here, it wouldn't be an honest answer. And it would be a disgrace to my honesty and to Veritas as well. So with no choice, I decided to go with my heartfelt answer:

"No. But she is a nice person."

The handsome look on his face, quickly twisted into one of the devil. As he raised his rapier and striked down, creating a sharp gust of wind that sent the snow nearby flying. And when the snow wave passed away, I could clearly see the last robotic part of my body, just...Gone.

"Do you have any idea, how much I..." Wynd stopped himself from speaking forward. Then with a scream of frustration, he turned and began to walk away. Leaving me limbless and lying in the snow.

"Rin..." I muttered, staring blankly at the sky.

Oh yeah my limbs...

Curses...

It's cold...

It's really getting cold...

Rin...Where are you?...

A frozen tear caught in my eyelid.

Looks like I am in for a long cold nap...

Q: How do you deal with frustration?