It's 3 am, I'm awake.
Why? You don't have to be up until 6:30.
Because I'm still shaking from the images my own mind created.
I sit on my bed and stare at the wall.
Why?
Because I can barely hear my self think.
My thoughts scream but I only register the negative whispers.
I go to school, concealer caked on my face.
Why?
Because the dark circles and bags under my eyes are so dark they look like bruises.
The rest of the day I fake smiles and giggle.
Why?
Because I don't want to pull them into my anxiety and depression.
I go home and hide in my room.
Why?
Because I don't know how to explain the tears on my face
My head is pounding.
Why?
Because my thoughts are no longer screaming, instead they whisper soft sorrows in my ear
It's time for dinner, the time I dread most of all.
Why?
Because I have no appetite, I feel sick just thinking about food.
Still, I force my-self to eat.
Time to shower.
I hope no one is outside the bathroom door.
Why?
Because I let my-self sob and let my tears mix with the steaming water.
I lay in my bed, staring off into space, and wait for sleep.
It never comes.
Why?
Because when I start to doze my demons come bake to whisper and scream all of my faults to me and then the cycle starts once again at 3 am.
W H Y ?
