A few simple words that hold so much power over me.
Two words that keep me up all night. They send me pacing around my room.
They make me doubt everything I had just started to trust.
What if they leave you behind?
What if they're using you?
What if what if what if.
What if they knew how broken you are, what happens then hmm?
What if they hated you for it?
What if what if what if
These thoughts plague my every waking moment.
Why can't I just breathe without thinking of all the ways I've failed.
Failed as a friend.
Failed as a sister.
Failed as a daughter.
What if what if what if.
Is it too much to ask to have less thoughts?
To have a quiet mind?
They make me want to scream but all I can do is stare blankly and silently at a randome spot as my mind kills itself from the inside.
My brain is slowly deteriorating.
I can do nothing about it.
I am hopeless.
And yet the thought remains, an echo bouncing around my skull.
WHAT IF?
