Involuntary

Chapter Fourteen

When Aloys regained his feet, he was holding his face. "Ice, what the fuck?"

Dmitrei shook his head as he stormed forward, shoving the cronies out of the way as he ran into the living room. His blue eyes were desperate, searching for Elena.

"Dmitrei!" she said rushing over to him. After this unnerving encounter, she needed him. Just needed to feel his goodness, remind herself of who he really was. He stepped back after a quick hug and handed her something that had been tucked under his arm. It was Sebastian, and he let out a meow as he came over to her and tucked himself into a ball against her chest.

"What? You aren't suppose to…" she started babbling about the cat, but Dmitrei put up a hand as he got between her and the guys standing by the door.

"Get out. If you come near my mate again, I will kill you."

Aloys grinned his falsely charming grin again. "Right," he said, sharing a meaningful look with Elena. "Because that's how you deal with things when you're angry. Right?"

Dmitrei went still. "You are trying to cause problems and I want you out." He pointed at the door, but she could swear he was feeling something other than anger now. It seemed uncomfortably like… guilt.

Aloys couldn't have been telling the truth, could he? Given, it was a shock they were somehow gargoyles with incredible powers, and she needed to know more about that. But Dmitrei couldn't be a ruthless killer, could he? She couldn't imagine it.

"Ask him," Aloys said, staring. "Ask him if it's true."

She didn't want to. She wanted to cover her ears and keep everything the same, but the energy radiating from Dmitrei wasn't right, and he was avoiding her eyes now, still facing away.

"Is it true?" she asked, still holding Sebastian. She walked forward to the man who had come to mean everything to her. "It isn't true, right?"

"What isn't true?" he asked in a flat tone.

"That you've killed people… Many people," she said.
His shoulders dropped and he still wouldn't face her. She grabbed him by the jacket with one hand and jerked him around. As he faced her, she recognized the multitude of emotions on his face. Grief, disappointment, guilt. Nervousness. Anger when he glanced at Aloys.

"Oh, look at this. She's going to reject you," Aloys said. "Hilarious that you did all that, and now she's going to turn on you when she hears the truth." He folded his arms and nodded, "Well, when you feel betrayed and angry, you are welcome to come join us. Heavens knows you are welcome."

"You did this on purpose," Dmitrei growled.

Aloys put up his hands, "I did no such thing. I simply came to recruit you, since I figured, unlike Elric, you actually had claws. Given what I had heard about you." He grinned, showing fang-like canines, "Anyway, I shall leave you to your mate." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a card, flicking it at them. It fluttered to the ground and neither of them reached for it. "Now you know where to find me."

Dmitrei frowned, scowling at the other man as he took his leave, exiting with his cronies through the door. Elena and Dmitrei moved to the window to watch them leave, and then she plunked down on the couch, completely drained.

He sat on the other end. "I was going to tell you," he said, rubbing his face with his hands. She set Sebastian down so he could find the other cats in the house, who all liked to hide in comfy places most of the time.

"Which would you have told me? That you were an ancient gargoyle, or that you mated me with your ring and it can't be taken back?"

"I told you I wanted you forever," he said.

"Or that you were a killer?" she choked out. "I don't want to believe it. I wouldn't just from him, but looking at you when he said it, I knew. You did, didn't you?"

He nodded slowly, and she felt her heart crack in two.

"You didn't think I deserved to know that? To know who I was bonding myself to?"

"I did," he said. "I didn't know how to tell you. There is so much."

She folded her arms, "Start at the beginning."

"I was born in a little cathedral--"

"Start with how you killed people!" she snapped, her heart racing.

He let out a long, frustrated breath, his body tense. "I didn't want it to be this way. I knew you would hate me."

"Then you should have told me and given me the chance," she said. "You've been in control of this thing all along. Leading me on. Chasing me and making me feel wanted. Asking me if I would love you if you were a monster. I thought that meant some mythical being. Not a killer!"

"I told you I was one of the bad guys."

"But you aren't!" she said. "I've never seen that in you. I know you're hard on yourself, but I never though you were capable of something like that. It's not okay."

"Don't you think I know that?" he asked. "I have been torturing myself over it for many, many years. It's the reason I wanted to go back to oblivion."

"That won't bring them back," she said warily. "If you're this big, powerful creature, why did you need to kill humans? What could possibly make that right?" She didn't know if she was angrier that he had hidden all of it from her or that he had mated her without telling her exactly what it meant. "It's one thing if you just happen to be something with powers. It's another to hide something that makes you a criminal."

He stood slowly, his hands on his legs, "So, you want me to go?"

Her heart ached. Even through her anger, she wasn't sure that was exactly what she wanted, but she was hurting and it was hard to see through that. It hurt her that Dmitrei could hurt people. It hurt her that he had thought he didn't need to tell her what he was capable of.

"I just… can't believe you're the man I thought you were if you could hurt people like that."

"That was a lifetime ago," he said. "I'm not the man, or gargoyle, I was then."

"Then why did you do it?" she asked. "What would justify it?"

He bit his lip, "It was stupid. I regret it every day."

"What was it? Why did you do it?" She had to know. She wanted badly for there to be a good reason.

But he stared at her, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Say there was a reason. Say Aloys was lying! Say I haven't just been tricked into mating a murderer."

He stared at her and it made her angrier. Why wasn't he saying anything? Instead, he seemed lost in a haze. He folded his arms and turned away. "I thought you would give me time to explain."

"I thought you'd know you should explain first, mate later."

"I thought you understood what the ring meant," he said.

"I didn't even know what you are! How could I understand anything?"

"Got it," he said dully. "So you want me out."

"For now," she said. "I need to think about this. I need to calm down." Pain shot through her, "I need to take more meds."

He took a step toward her, eyes going lighter. "Then, before I go, let me show you one other part of me."

She was about to protest, but he closed the distance between them in a second, taking her in his arms. He spun her until her back was to the wall and took her lips in a deep kiss. She tried struggling, but he wasn't budging. Slowly, she realized this kiss was different than the others. His hands held her face, stroking gently, and she could feel energy flooding through her, as if he were breathing it into her body.

Her entire body felt lit up by warmth and she felt tingling along her back. Unlike anything she had ever felt before. A warm, floating feeling that made her want to giggle. Her fingers dug into his back as her body went weak from the energy flowing through her. When he pulled back, still holding her up, she could sense a ball of energy centered on her back, where her injury had been.

"You're probably right," he said quietly. "In that I could never deserve you. Never make right what I did. Never be anything but the killer I was." He helped her to the couch and then turned to swipe up the card Aloys had left on the ground. "Even if all of this only allowed me to help you and Sebastian, it was worth it. Perhaps that's all it was."

"Wait," she said. "What do you mean help me and Sebastian?"

"You will understand soon. It's one of my powers," he said.

"Where are you going? You aren't seriously thinking of joining up with Aloys?"

He sighed and looked down at the card before tucking it in his pocket. "No, of course not." He gave her a sad look, "I have learned not to make decisions out of anger. I took his card so we can keep track of him. Because I may have made a mistake, but he is working on the side of pure evil."

She didn't get a chance to answer before he headed out the door, shutting it behind him.