righting our wrongs (bakudeku)

oh good god... what have I done?

bakugou's pov

its been a month since deku went missing... I have left my room in a week and my mom and dad have started to worry... I have only left this hell hole for a tin bit of junk food and some water, and when my parents force me to keep training to keep up my strength. 

I can't help but be worried... the only person that ever truly cared about me outside my family...and... and I killed him... I was the last person to talk to him, and I told him to jump off a building... with everything I did to him he was surely already suffering from depression, maybe even suicidal thoughts... and I pushed him off the edge... the only thought keeping me sane is that his body hasn't been found. there's no way he's dead if he hasn't been found. I sigh and get up with a scowl on my face to keep my parents away... it of course fails and my mom pushes more food on me... I've gotten thinner... I never realize it till I look in the mirror, which I never do anymore. I go back to my room and eat only a quarter of the food I brought up and I play with the rest, thinking of the small boy I pushed just a little too hard. after I finish eating my quarter of food I lay down in bed and twiddle with my phone landing on news and missing posters of deku. 

a few hours later I left my room and went for a walk to try and clear my head. I'm out roaming the dark streets at about midnight and I run into a person sitting by a wall. I walk up to him and using the voice I've been using the past two weeks I ask him if he's ok. then I see the blood. I was still quite a ways from him, so it wasn't obvious, but now I'm almost right next to the body. ¨oh... my...god...who the hell did this?¨ then I see a piece of paper on this dudes lap. 

I pick up said letter and start to read it. ¨comefind me...deku¨ this made me sick to my stomach and I called 911 to report the body. when I call a young girl answers quickly but calmly ¨911, what's your emergency?¨ I take a breath and speak int the phone as calmly as possible with the strong quiver in my voice. ¨uuhh... there's... there's a dead body here? he looks like he hasn't been here long. ¨ she answers in a more shaky voice than before and asks me to touch him. ¨ I need to tell me if he's still warm if you could.¨ I shakily reach out to touch his shoulder and after a few seconds, I pull away. ¨y-yeah...he's warm¨ I almost threw up, I just touched a newly killed body. and it was deku, or someone posing as him. it was nice of course the think he might still be alive, but it was disturbing that he was a killer. I hear sirens coming closer and I know they're headed right for me and I stuff the note in my pocket before they see me. they come to a stop and advise me to move from the body. o do so and answer a few questions before leaving the scene and heading home with more questions than answers. I tried to answer all questions truthfully but left out any detail of the note I had found with it. 

I soon arrive home silently and go up to my room, closing and locking the door as I lay in bed thinking of what I had found. a dead body and a note from deku... but he can't kill... it's impossible. I kind and strong soul like his couldn't be blinded by even rage, what could have caused him to do this? he was so innocent... and I crushed that... wait... it could just be someone trying to mess with me. using Deku's name.. let's hope it's just that.

I wind up thinking till 4:00 AM then falling asleep, waking up at around 2 in the afternoon, groggy and not remembering anything I had found the night before till I rolled over and saw the note on my nightstand.

fuck