Apocryphal Family Tree: The Rough Draft

Sneaking Through The Doorway To Heaven

Sneaking around Winnie's house is a bad idea in general if Winnie is alive. Lady has eyes, ears, and noses everywhere. And you'd think it'd be okay when she was dead but nope the whole supernatural squad is underfoot. Sasquatch, which the more I learn about the more I find myself calling them Sassy in my head. Saint George the dragon slayer, who is fun and also a pain in the ass. Glenny Mae who I bet knows where the door I seek is but would definitely not tell me. Possibly because I'm a lowly mortal. Possibly because she doesn't like cheaters and a backdoor to Heaven one hundred percent sounds like a cheat. Hopper with her abilities is always around or a threat of being around.
The first bit of reconnaissance that I've done is mapping out all the doors in the house. There are a lot. I've immediately decided some can't be hardcoded because there's too many hands that touch those doors, they're too public. Also is hard coded like hardwired? Will this door always lead to Heaven, even when it's a hundred feet under water because humans failed to stop climate change?
I'm thinking this as it is my turn to watch over Winnie. I pad down the hallway in my new slippers. They were in my room when I went back this last time. Imma have to talk to the sibs about keeping secrets, even if them slipping the beans led to my warm and cozy feet.
Winnie's dressings no longer need to be changed and she must be nearly 18. She'll be waking up soon. I've got to get a move on if I want to accomplish the shit I want to accomplish before lady of the house wakes up.
I decide to check the doors in here, since if there was a super private place in the house, this is it.
Having been a ballet dancer on and off during my childhood, I think about how a person can turn four ways: in or out, left or right. Turning in is turning toward the leg you are not spinning on. Door to the bedroom is a bust every which way. Door to the bathroom, also a bust.
Door to the closet is not a bust. I turn the knob to the left and push forward and clouds, also known as fog, rolls into the room. Clouds are cold and wet and apparently at no point did Heaven seek to improve its flooring or improve clouds to be the fluffy dreams humans think they are.
Just before I step inside I remember that time moves differently here and that I can't be caught not tending to Winnie. I'm so excited though because I've found my next step. I text the sib chat and then text that telling our parents anything is an act of aggression and will not be taken lightly.
I waiting for them to call me overdramatic but both of my siblings text back that if I cross over to Heaven, will that mean I'm dead? I don't think so, but I'm not sure. While I wait for the next person to take over, I mull over the idea of telling the next person, who is Hopper, about my discovery. I think it's a good idea- she's not a teleporter, everyone thinks she is but she's actually a universe transverser. If anyone would be helpful in what is existentially crossing to another plane, it's be a universe Hopper. I've landed on telling her and seeing what she thinks as the sun starts to creep in through the windows.
It feels like a speak of the devil moment but when you e been waiting hours to speak to a person you know you're going to see, it's not really a speak of the devil moment.
"How's the patient?"
"Fine, as usual. Seems like the healing is starting to slow down so it may be time for her to wake up soon."
"Glenny Mae is pretty sure Winnie won't wake until her feast at this point. It's only a few weeks away."
"That gives us time then," I said. "What do you think about Heaven?"
Hopper is an atheist. More so after dealing with those we call deities.
"They are human in all the ways that matter: they are just as limited in their thinking. They have powers, they have long lives, but they don't know everything and even when they know a lot, they still have to use the same type of flawed machine we do to make decisions." She'd said during one of her more informative and entertaining rants.
"I haven't given much thought to it." Hopper said as she checked Winnie over.
"Because I think I found a portal to it," I said.
Hopper looked up. This got her attention.
"Where?"
I pointed to the closet.
"If Heaven is in a closet, no one would ever come out," Hopper said.
"It's not in the closet. It's through the closet. If you go in and close the door, then turn the handle to the right and open it outward, fog will start to crawl across the floor."
"How do you know it's Heaven?"
"Do you know many places that are famed afterlife realms that use clouds as a floor?"
Hopper thought.
"This is wild," she said.
"Feel free to try it out. But if you go in there, make sure to only stay for what feels like a few minutes. Time works differently there."
"I know. Most universes have a different time deal."
Huh, food for thought I guess.
Hopper steps into the closet and pulls the door behind her.
An hour passes and I hear rumbling in the closet. It sounds like some serious clothes attacking is happening and then the door flies open and slams against the wall.
"Holy shit."
I look at Hopper's three tone pants that touch the floor. They look damp from about the knee down and sopping wet for an inch or two from the end.
"First: it's been an hour, how long did it feel like over there? Second, tell me what happened."
"It feel like fifteen minutes or so. First point five they have figured out their time way better than any universe I know. They know what shape their time flows in: the Jeremy bearimy. Second: I walked around and wondered why everything is on a physically I'm possible in this universe cloud but also apparently made of the same stuff our clouds are made of? My feet are freezing, my pants are damp. What is up with that?"
I shrug because I dunno.
"I know you don't know, it was rhetorical."
"So, it's Heaven?" I ask Hopper.
"I don't know. I don't know anyone to search for who believed in Heaven."
"Oh. I think I know of some dead people who did and might be there," I say as nonchalantly as possible.
Hopper looks right through that act and puts her hand on her hip.
"Cover for me?"
She walks into the room and gestures behind her.
"Oh thank you!"
I rush past Hopper to the closet and shut the door. I look down at my watch. Hopper's watch will be done in four hours, so I have an hour to get back. I'm hoping that since it's Winnie's doorway it's near our family. I have no idea how Heaven works? Do people move? Do houses last forever?
I open the door to the she view as last time. I look at watch again. It's 5:05am. I plan to be back here at 5:55am. I step through and close the door. I take in my surroundings. I take a picture of the building the closed door is on. I try the door and it's locked, so I knock.
A person who looks like they could my mom's younger sibling answers the door and smiles.
"Yo! We got a live one!" They shout into the building, which I guess may be a home. I want to tell them to quiet down. I'm not supposed to be here and I don't want to get kicked out of Heaven.
There is what sounds like a stampede on the other side of the door.
"You must be the "lost one" Winnie keeps talking about." The air quotes around the words lost one worries me. Because I wasn't lost, at least not according to Winnie.
They open the door wider, "come in, come in."
It's like the Doctor's TARDIS, it's bigger on the inside. There are so many faces that look like people I know. I look down at my watch. It's been five minutes. I'm bad at estimating numbers: distance, weight, time. I don't want to overstay and get blown.
I am ushered toward a table and I sit down with a plop. We all have so many questions. Me for them, them for me. I tell them I don't have much time and I was here to talk to the apprentices. A few faces come forward. I notice for maybe the first time that as we get further from Eleanor, we get lighter. I tuck that away as something to bring up later with Mama Washington or Winnie or probably both.
I can't figure out if it's gauche to be blunt about it but I also decide I don't have the time to beat around the euphemism bush.
"How did you all die?" I say with a flourish of my arm.
The six reactions range for fake outrage to actual outrage. Each person tells me how- and it's not what expected. They were all violent, yes. They'd have to be because they were so young. But only one was actually killed by Winnie. The first apprentice died at the same time Winnie did the first time she went to Heaven. They didn't get to Heaven at the same time or it's an individual gate, they aren't sure which. The second apprentice was killed by Winnie before she went to another mass killing because she was hoping to activate the latent abilities they had and keep them safe from death. It did not work. All of the others eventually tagged along with Winnie and got killed in the line of duty. So this year long deadline maybe was exaggerated. All she had to do to avoid it was avoid tagging along with Winnie. That seems easy enough.
With that Lenny said her thanks and promised to come back for a longer visit soon.
Lenny got back to Winnie's room with answers and answers. She could assuage her mother's fears about her dying. It was a bit of a relief that death wasn't less than nine months away. She could trade this information with the shady Key for a better summoning spell.