Inquiry - Lan Zhan x Wei Ying/Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Inquiry - [5] - Thirteen Years

For sixteen years, Lan Wangji, second jade of Gusu, played the same song.

Inquiry. He's played it so many times that his heart is already well acquainted with the melody, so as he journeyed through the forest leading away from the person he knows as home, he hummed Inquiry.

His heart ached, it ached so much, but Lan Zhan felt relieved somehow. Lan Zhan knew that being with Wei Ying will hurt him, but he also knew that the other will hurt without him. At least one way, Wei Ying will find someone else and live a life.

During those thirteen years when Lan Zhan had felt numb beyond belief, he'd stayed up and stared at the night sky, letting the tears he held in during the day flow. Sometimes he'd spend those sleepless nights plucking the strings of his guqin, as if it was the only thing that soothed the pain. Sometimes he'd feel as if his guqin was listening, and he'd feel better knowing there was someone listening.

Often, he'd wake up and find no point in getting up again, but whenever he thought about his brother's smiling face, he'd find enough pain to keep his feet moving. One more day, and then another. Because whenever he closed his eyes, Wei Ying's smile would come back to haunt him.

One day, when he was laying in bed. Rain pounding outside as he lay motionless, he realized a fact that made him inhale sharply. He had forgotten what color Wei Ying's eyes were. These minuscule details that he had sworn he'd never forget seemed to slip through his fingers.

That day, he'd played until his fingers bled, and when they healed, he played until the cuts reopened and blood stained his guqin.

He played until his ears became deaf to the music and the sound stopped soothing him, and then he let alcohol consume him. Let it envelope him in its embrace, let it consume his soul until there was nothing left except a person shaped hole.

33 scars marking his back for the rest of his life was enough proof that Wei Ying was his everything. Sometimes, when he played, he didn't know if he was waiting for someone to come back, or to know that Wei Ying was safe, and finally at peace. God knows that the mischievous, silver-tongued boy had suffered enough.

Lan Zhan sighed, gazing up at the sunset and smiling inconspicuously. It would be alright.

***

Wei Ying felt nothing.

He didn't feel sad, or angry at Lan Zhan. But somewhere inside he wanted to scream, to cry, to tear apart what little of his sanity is left.

He wished he could die, he wished that Mo Xuanyu hadn't thrown away his life for him. Just another number in his murder count.

Yet the tears don't come. Thorny vines seemed to tangle in his lungs, choking him silently and sweetly. All he wanted was Lan Zhan. The only thing he couldn't have.

He turned in bed, wishing for another to magically appear in the bed even when he knows that it is impossible. He can't help but think, is this how the other felt when Wei Ying went missing for thirteen years? When sleep did not come, and the dead remained silent. Or is this how Jiang Cheng felt, when Wei Ying turned his back to save strangers. Or maybe Lan Xichen, when he had to kill Meng Yao with his own hands?

It's only when a knock at his door pulled him out his thoughts; dawn breaking to his surprise and the relentless knocking at his door does not let up. He made no move to open the door, turning over to bury his face into his pillow when the door slammed open and Jiang Cheng walked in, he slammed a pile of papers onto a wooden table.

"Wei Wuxian," his tone is softer than normal but still harsh, "Get up. Pull yourself together, we are going somewhere."

Wei Ying glared, and it surprised both of them to see the normally upbeat cultivator being so aggressive.

"Jiang Cheng, didi," He stated, emphasizing their difference in age. "I am NOT going anywhere, and you can't make me." Feeling the burn of Jiang Cheng's eye roll on his back.

Surprisingly, when Jiang Cheng opened his mouth to speak again, his words are tinged with amusement.

"Even to crash a wedding?"