That Abercrombie Model

TEN

When I wake up, I find my hand holding a beautiful teddy bear with a card in its belly pouch. Don't ask me why a bear even has a pouch in the first place. I open it and it reads:

Get well soon, honey.

Love, Mom and dad.

A smile comes on my face. I wonder if my mom came to see me as I was asleep. I can vividly see her sad smile as she peers at me with worry as she used to do when I had an accident while sleepwalking before. A nurse comes in and checks my IVs and tells me that my parents had come earlier when I was asleep, just as I thought.

Once she leaves, I start fumbling to get out of bed because I seriously want to pee. I struggle to get my leg off the support. The more I pull it the more painful it is, but I have to go so bad. I clench my jaw and pull one last time. It comes free with searing pain. I push my leg off the edge of the bed and muster all the courage I can to take the first step. The pain when my legs touch the ground is decapitating. I want to scream.

"I can do it." I tell myself, I shouldn't call a nurse for such a small task. I waddle all the way to the adjoined bathroom. After doing my business, I get up from the toilet and pain shoots through my body. I stagger but fortunately there is a cabinet nearby which I hold onto.

When the pain ebbs slightly, I pull up my pants and head back to the room. I come face to face with Jade. Her eyes are filled with a lot of guilt, I am starting to hate that expression on her face. "Jade." My mood instantly plummets. I lean on the wall for support. "Don't tell me you are still blaming yourself." My face creases with worry.

"I thought you were gone." she says, her voice sounding small. "I looked everywhere for you. I was about to call security." I hate that I have created this melancholy version of Jade.

I notice that she has removed all the drawers and the pillows from the sofa. "Were you looking for me under the couch and in the drawer?" I ask with an amused tone to dispel the awkwardness.

My face contorts as pain shoots through my leg again, I lean off the wall willing the pain to reduce. I wince audibly. Alarmed, she races to my aid and helps me into bed. "Don't get up again without help."

"Jeez you sound like my mother." I say between clenched teeth, as I look for a less painful position to lie down. I let myself be pampered for the rest of the evening until visiting hours end at 10 pm. For the first time since waking up, I find myself alone.

Suddenly, I get vague recollections of Kystan touching my face, and whispering something to me, but I can't recall what it is. The Kystan I saw earlier and the one who was here to see me are so different, I am worried he must have two personalities. Whereas earlier he was pushing me over the edge, when he came to visit me he was caring, and worried?

The constant hum of air conditioning in the room does little to dispel the silence in the room. Being as cautious as possible, I rummage through the side table. I am amazed to find my computer and phone in the first drawer. Trust Jade to be the most thoughtful friend in the world and sneak a laptop in for me. I pull the computer onto my lap and turn it on. It takes so long to turn on, I want to smash it into the wall.

I find many email notifications waiting for me. Most of which are responses from the companies I applied to. My eyes search the whole list until they land on Vogue's email. My heart rate speeds up. If I can land an internship for Vogue, I would be the happiest girl, imagine working alongside brilliant people like Anna Wintour and basically being at the forefront of all the fashion news. What a dream!

I take a deep breath and click on the email. "Dear Liza Murray. Thank you for your interest in Vogue but we are sorry to announce that you have not been chosen for the internship position this summer-" I start to read aloud as my excitement diminishes. My brows furrow as I accept the reality that maybe this was never meant for me. I close the email and stare at the rest of them wondering how many of them carry the same message.

I fall back onto the bed with exasperation. I put my arm over my eyes, resigned. Why is everything so against me? Amidst my sorrow, I hear the door knob turn. I get up quickly, slam the lid onto the laptop and hide it under the pillow. I lay back onto the pillow pretending to be sleeping. The nurse from earlier walks in with a medicine tray. She sets the tray down and picks up my arm. I am on the verge of bursting out laughing because of how excessively ticklish I am. I hold my breath to stop laughing. She removes the IV tube from my arm and sanitizes that area of my skin before letting go. She hovers beside my bed for a while but then finally leaves. I heave a sigh of relief and get up again. I open my laptop again and open the email from LVMH. "we are sorry to-" Fuck. Tears spring at the corners of my eyes. I shouldn't have done that application in one day. My hand slams onto the keyboard with frustration. I can visualize all the hours I put into creating my own designs over the years going down the drain. Images of me sitting at my parents house begging them for money surface in my mind.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. My eyes fix on an email that I opened as I slammed my hand on the laptop. "Congratulations,-" I don't read the rest of the email. I release a yelp of joy. I don't care if everyone hears me because I just got an internship at Abercrombie and Fitch. I want to get out of bed and jump up and down but I settle for calling Jade to tell her the good news.

"That's amazing." She yells into the phone. She must be grinning from ear to ear now.

"I know right." I can barely conceal my happiness, "who cares if I am not going to Vogue or Louis Vuitton."

"Trust me you'll be happier there. It's the Westfield branch right?"

"Yes." I am too happy to ask how she knows that.

"You're in for some surprises." A shiver of happiness runs through me at her reassurance. I am confident it's going to be okay. "I should tell my boyfriend immediately."

"When did that happen?" I am floored by how fast their relationship is.

"Bye." she hangs up before I can ask her anything else.

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