Only Summer Loves October - Ryden

Chapter Eighteen - Confessions And Explanations

"How do you feel now that your first tour with us is coming to an end?" Spencer asks, handing me a beer.

I take a seat on the edge of the couch, feeling uneasy in Spencer's apartment. I know he invited me here, but I guess he felt obliged. "I'm not sure, this still doesn't feel real to be honest, it's all happened so quickly." I take a drink solely for something to do, trying to mask my anxiety.

"I know it's been crazy, but honestly Brendon you've been great. The fans love you, and I guess we think you're alright too." He grins at me and taps the neck of his bottle against mine. I'm so glad he seems to have got out of the bad mood he's been in for most of the tour, but that might just be because he's pretty drunk already.

Zack and Eric appear from the kitchen and Zack's holding a tray of shots. "Anyone else coming? Or are the four of us drinking all of these?" He places the tray in front of us and hands me two, I quickly down both and crush the plastic cups in my hand. "Yes Brendon!" Zack slaps me on the back.

"Well, I didn't invite Pete and I wasn't letting Jon bring that dog into my apartment. Dan went home and I don't know what happened to Andy." Spencer takes a shot between explaining each person's whereabouts and I can't help but ask the obvious question.

"What about Ryan?" I ask casually, Zack looks at me with an eyebrow raised but doesn't say anything.

"He said he was coming but then disappeared. He told me yesterday that he's seeing a new girl so maybe..." Spencer cuts himself off and it's obvious that he regrets what he just said. "I mean, he didn't say he was seeing someone, he just, err, oh I don't know." He laughs and downs another shot, I assume to cover his embarrassment.

"So Ryan's got a new girlfriend then? Who is she? Come on Spence, you can't leave us hanging." Eric nudges Spencer's arm playfully but he's having none of it.

"Just forget I said anything, okay? Can we talk about something else?" He looks to me hopefully, but I don't have anything to say. Why didn't Ryan tell me he'd met a girl?

The apartment buzzer goes and Spencer practically jumps out of his seat to answer it. Eric starts talking about the show but I'm not listening enough to join in the conversation. Seconds later, Spencer reappears with his arm around Ryan, who looks pale and the ends of his hair have curled with sweat. "Oh here he is, we heard why you're late and there's no judgement here man." Zack chuckles.

"What?" Ryan snaps. "What do you mean, you heard why I'm late?" He looks to me and I shrug.

"Ignore him Ry, he's just messing with you." Spencer smiles through gritted teeth and gives Zack an evil glare. "Tonight's show was unreal though, right? We were just talking about how crazy it is that Brendon's first tour is almost over." Ryan takes a seat next to me and is tapping his fingers continuously on his knees like a kid with ADHD. I shuffle away so I'm not touching him.

"So what happens when tour is over?" I question, realizing I have no idea what the band is going to do next.

"The guys usually just avoid Pete's calls for as long as they can until it's time to get back in the studio, but you're still going to get paid if that's what you meant." Zack snides.

Ryan moves closer to me and I can't deal with this anymore. He'd barely spoken to me after the show, he's clearly keeping secrets from me about a girl and even though he's only been here for two minutes, something doesn't seem right with him. "Actually, I think I might go home. I'm pretty tired and it's the last show tomorrow so I need some sleep." I stand up as I'm talking, but the guys all start groaning and complaining at once so I hold my hands up and agree to stay for a bit longer. Ryan grabs my arm and pulls me back down to my seat as Spencer starts a rant about Jon and his stupid dog.