Only Summer Loves October - Ryden

Chapter Thirteen - Controversy And Sin Creating An Indescribable Desire

"What are you doing at the studio? I've already called everyone else and this was the last place I thought of. We leave for tour tomorrow morning and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing! You said you'd help me pack and prepare, it's almost five and we're supposed to be meeting the guys for a drink at eight!"

I genuinely believed moving in with Brendon would be like some cool bachelor type set up. The way he's been nagging me the last couple of days has made it feel no different to living with a woman (not that I have a great deal of experience in that either). "I just came by to make sure nothing has been left behind, on the last tour we had to fly Dan back to collect Jon's lucky bass strap. It left us without him for the first show and Jon blaming every small mistake on the missing strap. I'll be back in around twenty minutes, just chill - my stuff is all ready so we can concentrate on your packing, okay?"

"Mmm, okay. Can you remind me why we have to go for drinks tonight? I would much rather get an early night and wake up with a clear head for tomorrow."

"Brendon, you're about to go on a eight week tour around America. A word of advice - don't expect to be waking up with a clear head any time soon. Besides, it's tradition. So stop being a boring old fuck and enjoy yourself."

"I guess a couple won't hurt if I pace myself and alternate beer with water, if we get back by..."

"Brendon!" I practically shout at him down the phone "Do you want me to get back soon or not?"

He hangs up the phone, I guess I'll have to deal with the rest of his frantic questions later. At least he bought my shitty story about Jon's bass strap, but Brendon has known him long enough now to know that anything is possible with that boy. The studio feels cold and empty with most of our equipment and instruments packed up and ready to go. It's funny how small a space can appear when its filled with crap, a bit like my mind right now.

I can't think of many bands that have gone on tour this soon after releasing an album, we haven't even had time for a release party. The reviews so far have been good and the reaction to Brendon's vocals have been even better. The thing that worries me is the fans have only had a week to listen to it before the first show.

This is the first time I've been able to come to the studio alone since its been refurbished, I feel a sense of relief when I lift one of the ceiling tiles, feel around in the darkness and find what I came here for. There's no reason why anyone would search for it anyway seeing as I'm the only person who knows it exists. Out of all of the notebooks I've owned over the years, this tatty pocket size one has helped me the most. It may only be a replica of one I shared many years ago, and I doubt I got everything in there just from memory, but it helps me when I need it. I might not even find a reason to need it over the next eight weeks, but if I do it needs to be accessible from wherever I am.

I lay out on the couch and flick through the stained pages, my artwork had improved from the original, I must have been no older than seventeen at the time. I can't remember which one of us decided to use a dragon for our logo but it never would've worked out. My favourite part - 'we're going to be famous!' underlined and in bold, we sure were buddy.

I jump at the phone ringing, Brendon must have even less patience than me. I don't bother answering just so he can go through all the same questions he had before, I hide the notebook in my inside pocket and leave the studio.

"Heeyyy, my main man Charlie, what's up?" I reach my hand out to slap his but the doormans just as grouchy as the day I met him.

"Good afternoon Mr Ross, nothing is up with me sir and please... I have reminded you before, it's Charles." He tips his hat like Dale does, but this imposter is no Dale - he's just a bitchy, ancient version of him. I skip up the stairs two at a time not letting him kill my mood. I would never take the stairs at my apartment, I don't know whether it's living with a guy that works out in front of me every day that's hurt my ego, but I'm determined to get in shape.