patient • chensung

3 • my imagination's too creative

warning: mild talk of self harm and drugs, if you're not comfortable just skip those parts (: i have put a bold and italicised where they start and end. honestly they're not too bad but if you're uncomfortable please feel free to.

also, i have never, god bless, experienced depression, anxiety, or anything of the sort, or even come near to. i'm just saying this so i have no clue what it feels like to be going through it, or how people recover from it and how long it takes to recover- please don't come at me in the comments though lmao but i've done quite a bit of research to execute the plot so hopefully it'll be alright (:

•••••••••

"He needs to just kill himself and then everything will be okay!"

Jisung twitched, hearing the group of students a few yards away talk about him. The twitches that overcame him simply motivated him towards the wrongdoings- practically everything he was told not to do. It was like a shudder from the cold, but instead of cold, it was people, emotions, topics, even.

So when his legs carried him there, he couldn't go back.

"I should, shouldn't I."

The students were startled at the sudden presence, but immediately jumped back when sight was set upon the all too familiar face that everyone knew and feared.

"Yeah, you creep," one girl retaliated, feeling a spur of courage.

But the gaze of the taller boy pushed her back into place. He pulled his pocket knife out and began to play around with it in his fingers, eliciting a few gasps from the group.

"Yeah. I should."

He watched the knife for a few seconds, admiring the beautiful curve of the blade, and the silver shining through.

It would look better with a splash of colour though.

if you're not comfortable with self-harm and drugs please skip till the next bold and italicised note.

Bringing the knife up to his face, Jisung ran it along his cheek.

"Beautiful, isn't it."

The group simply stared in horror as a the sickening slice of the knife dug into his pale skin, creating a stream of red.

He then brought the weapon to his neck, twirling it at his adam's apple before running it from one side to the other, blood pooling out in its absence.

"Stop!"

Jisung chuckled.

"This isn't anywhere close to what I wanted, you wanted me to kill myself huh?" his eyes scanned the teens, and his orbs landed on something specific.

"Perfect," he mumbled.

His eyes landed on a plastic packet, backed with aluminium foil.

"Hand it over."

The girl's eyes widened as she looked down to her medicine. "No!"

"Hand. It. Over. Now." he snarled, stretching his hand out.

The tone in his voice was enough to let her know that she should give it to him before it was too late for herself.

"Better," he muttered, receiving the pills from her trembling hands into his own steady one. Unknowingly, his lips extended into a menacing grin, examining the packet in his hands. He then poured them out and juggled them into his hands, some red, some white, and some blue.

The next thing they knew, the tube-shaped medicines were in his mouth, downed in a simple swallow.

"It's only supposed to be taken one per week! There were twelve in there! Spit it out!" the girl cried, rushing to the boy.

He scowled, pushing the girl away.
"You want me to die, he wants me to die," he scoffed, pointing to a random boy in the corridor. "Everyone wants me to die, so why not just do everybody a favour and get myself out of here?"

most of the really bad stuff's over, there is some emotional harming but that's about it.

The students knew what they'd done was wrong. Horribly wrong. But they couldn't move and inch- and by the time one of them knocked some sense into her brain, the boy was gone.

•••

Jisung continued down the winding path to get out of reach from the pathetic excuse of his school, feet scrambling all over the place as the side effects of the pills were now affecting him.

"Fuck," he groaned, his words slurring. He was stumbling over his steps, the high overtaking him. Spotting a small bench, which he had come across yesterday during his walk, the boy sat down- more so fell, but minor details aside, the kid felt pain throbbing everywhere.

It still didn't get him though.
After taking in the pills, it brought him into. completely different mindset and he wasn't necessarily complaining.

Usually, when an individual were to pass out, the last thing they'd see would be his or her lover, or a loved one; maybe a pet even, or a just somebody who cared.

Jisung passed out with a simply a blanket of polluted air encasing him. 

•••

Chenle was back outside again after his last appointment. It was currently 7pm, and since it was winter, the sun went down quite early, so the only thing he was left with was the escaping sun, although that was already disappearing past the horizon.

Today had been a calm and relaxing day, only a few patients who came regularly, and it was safe to say that Chenle was doing an amazing job. The people were already getting back on their way of living life and it was heartwarming to see the progress, the happiness that flowed in their faces and it made him warm to think that some of it was him- some people had better lives because of him and that was all it was to spread a smile on his face.

Thud.

Chenle jumped mid-step, clutching his chest in shock. Luckily, it wasn't too dark yet, and there were still streetlights shining brightly so everything was in clear view.

The young boy walked closer to where he heard the noise from, curious as to what could possibly be happening at this time.

He walked closer, and closer, goosebumps rising on his skin as he pulled the jacket tighter around him.

He gasped.