Frozen Beyond [gxg]

Someone You Loved

[Authors Note: Hey everyone! I find the musical chapters fun to write, sorry if they are boring! I'll be using a popular song with small tweaks of my own since I'm not very musically inclined. This "musical" chapter is "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi. I think in Elsa's voice this song would be absolutely heart-wrenching.] 

The new winter moon was tonight. The past few days drifted by slowly and she tried to keep herself busy with helping Honeymaren and Ryder with the ceremony preparations.

She wasn't the best reindeer herder so Ryder decided he'd better take that responsibility back. She had admittedly been spacey the last few days.

She felt restless from Ryder and Honeymarens' merciless onslaught of questions and tiptoeing around her. She knew they were just trying to help, but she had never been forthcoming with her emotions, anyway.

The only person who has ever seen her emotional was Anna. She had still yet to send word to her about what transpired days ago.

She could lie, but she'd done enough of hiding truths from Anna. It was better if she just didn't send any word to her. If she saw Anna now, she just might break down. And if she broke down, she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to collect herself and move foreword.

Elsa took a deep breath and looked at the clearing she was in. The sky was gray from their dreary clouds as they let forth fluffy specks of snow.

Her breath came out in a cloud of mist as she exhaled and held her hand up to catch the pieces of snow.

Bruni chirped on her shoulder and lifted his mouth to the sky and opened it ready to receive its fluffy delights.

The wind caressing a bitter chill against her back as the light layer of fluff swirled around in the open pond in front of her.

A solemn owl gave an eerie hoot into the whisper of the night.

She closed her eyes to take a steady breath. In with her nose, out with her mouth. She couldn't talk to any single person about what she was feeling, but she could tell the forest. Could bring it out into the world so she can mend what was lost.

"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to," Elsa's voice was low and solemn like the haunting echo of the owl's call. It curled into the underbrush, whimsical but devastated, "This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy," She called out into the lonely forest, her voice picking up strength as she ventured closer to the pond.

Her lack of attention to the ground had her stumbling and she crumbling to the ground. She felt defeated and didn't attempt to get back up. "I need somebody to heal, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold," her voice came out muffled into the ground before she pushed herself up, tears freezing before they fell. "It's easy to say, but it's never the same."

She looked to the gray sky, listening to the symphony of chirps and rattling underbrush. It did remind her that no matter how alone she felt, there was still life all around her.

Holding her hand to her stomach she closed her eyes, her voice louder and stronger as her lungs pushed out all the emotion she felt in that moment. "I guess I liked the way you numbed all the pain!" She sang into the hollow of the night.

Bruni gave a sad chirp and nuzzled her hand before scampering onto a fungus covered log.

She got up and started towards the pond. "Now the day bleeds, into nightfall," she stepped on the edge of the pond. Ice immediately started from her step and crackled as it took over the pond to freeze it solid. "And you're not here to get me through it all." She mourned, stepping towards the center of the pond as she waved her hand.

The snow on the embankment swirled in front of her and the flurry created a sculpted mixture of ice and snow. Keahi stood in front of her in a perfect ice sculpture, the same charming, lopsided grin on its face.

Elsa cupped the statues face, tears brimming but not spilling over. "I let my guard down, and you took my heart," she breathed out. Keahi wasn't supposed to die.

Elsa was supposed to save her. Why didn't she save her? Why couldn't she? Why did Keahi have to make impossible choices? Why couldn't she save her from that choice?

A selfish anger erupted in her chest and she took a few steps away, clutching her chest and spinning on her heel to face the sculptor once more, singing loudly into the night and allowing every ounce of emotion to howl with the night's somber embrace. "I was getting used to being someone you loved."

Out of breath, she rushed back to the sculpture, shoving it as it slid across the ice and into a snowy embankment. Sad tendrils of ice sprayed from her and started to create an icy rose garden along the hill.

"It's easy to say, but it's never the same," she whispered, drifting over to the statues half hazard place on the side of the pond. She reached out to touch the sculpture, and it erupted into a mist that scattered with the wind. "I guess I liked the way you helped me escape." she sang lowly, watching the mist carry into the underbrush of the forest.

The moon peeled behind its curtain of clouds, illuminating the forest and casting shadows against the frosted pillars and designs that coiled around the pond. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and let the moon wash over her. "I let my guard down. And then you stole my heart. I was getting used to being someone you loved."

The ice and snow that she created started to crumble all around her until it left nothing but broken ice.