Back Then: a Sanders sides fanfic

day in the mind palace 2 (TW: suicide)

Virgil's POV: 

It was a quiet day today. I could finally leave this earth, this torment. Im sick of being the bad guy. I'll see you on the other side remus, i love you. 

I finished the note and tucked it away.  grabbing the rope, I got up on the stool and fitted the noose around my neck. i took a deep breathe and kicked the chair away, and at the moment, Remus kicked down the locked door, tears streaming down his face. I could feel myself slipping away from the status of living, as Remus cut me down. I blacked out as my head hit against his chest. the last thing i felt was the sensation of cold before it all went black. 

Remus POV: 

I kicked open Virgil's door and raced to cut him down. he blacked out right as he fell into my arms and I yelled for Patton. Patton called an ambulance and I stayed with Virgil the whole time. i was terrified he wouldn't make it. grabbing his hand, I pulled my hood up and prayed harder than I ever have before. I prayed and prayed to anyone up there, hoping they could hear me. It was hours before we had any news on his condition and I sat with Virgil's hand in mine.  tears streamed down my face as I waited and waited. Finally a doctor walked into the room, and I looked up. everyone looked up. 

"exscuse me for the words Im about to say-" 

and I burst into tears. he didnt make it! how could I be so dumb!? I could have stopped him, and I didn't. everyone around me was crying, and my heart shattered. I grabbed a scalpel and stuffed it into my pocket.  i got on my knees and sobbed. hours later we all went home, and got dressed for the funeral. 

at the funeral: 

I sat next the grave, crying. I placed a moon flower on the ground and hugged myself, god i missed him. wanna know the something really sad? I was the only one there. the only one who showed up to Virgil's funeral. the priest placed a hand on my shoulder, and I pushed it away. the priest walked away.  I choked down a sob and wiped my eyes. I was wearing Virgil's hoodie to. I got up and put the packet of flower seeds into the soil, quickly watering them with my tears and walking away, a broken whimper escaping my mouth.  Walking home, I couldn't care less if I got hit by a car. Thomas was in the house preparing food, and I simply waved sadly to him. I went tto my room and started to sing 'invisble' from beetlejuice the musical.  

(play the music) "your Invisible when you're sad Clocks tick and phones still ring The world carries on like mad But nobody sees a thing Whispering behind their hands Lost for kind words to say Nobody understands And everyone goes away Grownups wanna fix things When they can't it only fills them with shame So they just look away Is it being greedy to need somebody to see me And say my name? Seems when you lose your boy  No one turns off the sun Folks carry on, that's that You're invisible when you're sad" 

I heard my door open. it was patton. i growled. 

"what do you want?" 

"just checking up on ya" he shut the door. 

I hissed and got myself my favorite knife. this is it. im going to join Virgil on the other side. I felt the knife get pulled away and I sighed, knowing I would get a scolding. after that was over I left my room to get a drink, and saw thomas and Patton talking in the kitchen, so I quickly hid.  

"Thomas, you know that Remus would hate that." 

"he needs to move on. im calling my friend's kid brandon over and they are going to hang out." 

"Thomas [redacted] Sanders, you put that phone down!" 

thomas smirked and put the phone down just as the doorbell rang.  both of them turned and went to get it so I quickly bolted to the fridge and started to look through the sodas.  hearing footsteps coming my way, I looked back at Thomas. 

thomas: "hello Remus, this is Brandon" 

Remus: "get him away from me" 

I spat the word coldly and went back to my room to try and get my mind off of how similar he was to Virgil. I sat down on my bed and cried, hugging my Pillow close. I grabbed a knife and started to stab the wall, but it didn't help. I was so upset that i just put the knife down and went to sleep for a while. in my head I was arguing with myself.  that kid named brandon walked into the room, put a blanket on me, then walked out.  

~third pov + timeskip~

Remus woke up and stretched, feeling the blanket on himself. He grabbed himself Virgil's hoodie and put it on, zipping in up and rolling the sleeves down. he attempted to push his messy green hair back and groaned when he failed. leaving his room, he saw everyone on the couch or in the kitchen, chatting and laughing as if Virgil hadn't killed himself the day before.  Logan was busy making food with Patton, Thomas and Joan where watching a Movie with Roman, and Brandon was on the steps where virgil always sat. Remus walked over. 

(b = brandon, Re = Remus.) 

B: "h-hello th-there" 

Re: "hi, Im Remus. sorry for being rude earlier" 

B: "oh im used to it, hehe" 

Thomas watched the two interact. it was clumsy but it was cute in a way. He looked over at joan and smiled, pointing at the pair. Joan gasped a little and smiled. 

J: "cute" 

TH: "ikr!"  

Patton prepared dinner and everyone sat at the table, and then they all noticed how awfully skinny Remus and Brandon were.