Living In The Past

I'm Adam White

"Adam, are you alright ?"

"I'm fine" I blandly responded.

I turned to look at my therapist, who was staring at me with suspicion.

"Adam, I've been your therapist for a year now, I know you're not honest with me. And if you're not honest, I can't help you"

"I'm not fine" I replied, instead of screaming "Yeah, an entire year and you're still useless".

"It's been a year and there's no improvement. You said you brother William came back into your life, and is helping you. How do you feel about that ?" Mrs. Knight, my therapist, asked.

"It's weird. I don't even know if he's sincere. He didn't contact me in years, and now, he's coming to my appartment almost every week"

"That's a good thing. Maybe he really cares about you"

"Maybe"

"And your mother ? Still nothing"

"Nothing. William doesn't talk about her"

"Do you ask him about her ?"

"No"

Silence. God I hated being here with someone faking being concerned about me !

"Don't you think... Arthur would want you to be happy ?" She hesitantly asked.

She was right about being hesitant, because my heartbeat accelerated at the mention of my boyfriend Arthur. Well my ex-boyfriend who died protecting me. Did she really think it was something she should ask me ?! I wanted to struggle her. She must have realised I was furious, because she immediatly tried to explain herself.

"I know it's hard. I know you don't like what I said. But what happened is not your fault. The other car was driving the wrong way. There's nothing you could have done"

"I know"

My voice shaked with the rest of my body. Fucking sensitive voice, and fucking sensitive body ! Why am I incapable of doing a decent poker face ?!

"Are you curious about the person who saved you that night ?" She wondered.

"Yes"

"Why ?"

Fuck, being there was unbereable. I was forced to talk about things I didn't want to share with anyone.

"To find him and burst both of his eyes" I honestly said, avoiding any emotion from coming out.

"Why are you angry at him ?"

"Because I would have prefered to die that night. The fact someone rescued me makes me selfish and coward if I commit suicide"

An alarm rang on her desk, signalling the end of the session.

"Well, I'll see you next week. Have a nice day, try to enjoy life" she said with her typical plastic smile.

I went out, barely mumbling a "Goodbye".

I walked in the busy streets of New York, on a saturday afternoon, like a soul without purpose.

Well let me introduce myself. I'm Adam White. I was 22 years old when this story happened. I'm scrawny, short, with short dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and no beard. I left my mother and brother when I was ten, to go to New York with my father. I was happy with him, met Arthur, and succeed my first years of medecine studies. But my father died of skin cancer when I was 21, and a few months later, I got into a car accident. I was driving peacefully when all of a sudden, a car appeared in front of me. My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, had just enough time to cover me from the passenger sit, and after that, nothing. I woke up in a hospital, with my brother right next to me. He never left since that moment. Loosing the two most important persons in my life destroyed me. I stopped my studies and found a job as a barrista in a coffee shop.
Ever since, I had not lived, I had breathed. Just breathed. But that was going to change.

Hi everyone !!
I'm back with my third story ! This chapter is short, but it's just an intro ;)
Well, tell my what you think of it :)

Love from otters !