What do you want from me ? (girlxgirl)

Chapter 12 - tell me the truth

Ashley's POV

The lights of morning sun hit my face. It wakes me up, but i still sleepy. I stretch my hands to gain my conciousness in my drowsy state.

"Wake up, you sleepyhead !"
Huh ? That voice...
"Where am i now ?" i sit on the floor in the living room of someone's house. Is it Andrea's house ?
"Here, at my house. How was your sleep ?" she asked me. Okay it's really her house, i can see her doing something at the kitchen. The kitchen is right beside the living room. So i can see her smiling face from here. What she is doing ? Cooking ? I get up and approach her.

"yeah, it's horrible, thanks to you, i don't have enough sleep."
"you're welcome. But how much did you usually sleep, you sleep 5 hours and still telling that was not enough ?" she replied and giggled.
"jeez...being old is too much problems, and i don't wanna get wrinkles." i do sleep a lot.
"so you're admitting that you're old ?" she laughed.
"No !! oh man...forget what i said. Anyways, you can cook ?" so embarrassing, why i told her that.
"of course, don't compare me with some lazy-ass like you."
"such a nice mouth of yours, i hope it's something edible."
"how rude, just wait and see, Ash...you will praise me after you try it." she smirked.
"so much confident."

After she finished cooking, we both eat the meals that she cooked.
"is this supposed to be spaghetti ?" i asked.
"it looks like...um...honestly i lost my appetite just by looking at it." i continued.
"Tsk. Don't judge a book by it's cover."
"it's not a book, it's...i don't know, is it food ? Im just worried..."
"if you don't wanna eat, then i'll force you eat it."
"No !! Ple-hmmpp" she feed me forcefully, i flinched. But, oh...the taste is fine i guess.
"how was it ?"
"mmm...okay...i guess." i said as chewing the fake spaghetti. Well it does taste like spaghetti but the look is a bit...horrible.
"just okay ? Come on, don't be so stubborn, you should tell me the truth."
"im telling you the truth, it's good, it's edible." i said pretend like it tastes just fine but actually it really tastes good despite the look is a bit off.

"speaking of the truth...im gonna ask you some questions, Ash."
"what about ?"
"you and Grace, what kind of relationship do you have with her ?"
"why ?"
"im asking you, don't just ask me back !"
"well, we used to be 'close friends' i guess..." i replied as continue eating the food she made.
"did 'close friends' kiss each other ?"
"ughh...yea, kind of..."
"hey just tell me the truth don't play some clue words ! You know, honestly i won't tell anyone, about both of you. I don't like messing with other people's problems. I don't care about my cousin or my family really, as well as they don't care about me. My parents always just have money in their mind, all members of my big family are money-slaves."

"hey don't say like that. Wait, so are you telling me that you just making fool of me ? Telling me to do anything you want just to playing around ?"
"No, yeah, i mean i just feel mad you know, about you and Grace, i just wanna bully you a little, i wanna get revenge you know.... But i have no bad intention really, and actually, it doesn't matter about you give me what i want or not, i won't tell anyone about that. Honestly i don't understand my self, why im so concern bout you... Ah, and um, do you perhaps...gay?"

I stopped chewing the food. It's not that im shocked or something, i kinda know that she knew about my sexuality. It's not surprising. But what should i tell her about Grace ?

"yeah, im a lesbian. But Grace's straight."
"there's no way a straight girl will kiss another girl. I know that time, she's the one who kissed you, but you were defending her and you tell me that you're the one who kissed her. Sweet, you're such a sweety idiot, Ash." Damn it. How did she know that as well ?

I put the spoon and fork on the table, getting ready to some big explaination.
"we used to date, since we were senior in high scool. Im the one who told her i love her, and came out as a lesbian. She told me she loved me but in different way. She loved me as a friend, a very close friend. But she said she didn't mind pretend to be my girlfriend."
"pretend huh ?"
"to make it short, we've been pretending like we were dating about 3 years, almost 4 years actually, and she told me she can't do that anymore so she wanted to break up."
"wait, 3 years ? Did your or her family know bout that ?"
"she never even introduce me to her family, but i introduced her to my family as my best friend."
"But 3 years is so long, how do you both manage to 'pretend' for that long time ?? That wasn't make any sense at all ! And the most funny thing is, you two not even dating but you said she wanted to break up ? Is Grace crazy bitch, or is it you that too stupid ??"

"hey, please let me finish the story first. Im not trying to make you bad commented your cousin's wife. And honestly i don't want people to hate her, cause im to blame after all. Im the one who can't accept reality and selfishly dreaming something i can't reach. She's just a goddess up above the sky, and i was just nothing. She has everything that i dreamt of."
"goddess my ass."
"hey watch your mouth !"
"you're really idiot ! Big dummy super idiot, Ash ! She hurt you, she left you, she broke your heart, she's playing with your emotion, and YOU still defending her ? Still trying to protect her ? You even came to her wedding reception ? Hello come to earth, Ashley ! Your life isn't drama series !! That was crazy as fuck !!"
"don't yell, jeez...i guess, im really stupid..."
"yeah YOU are stupid !!"

I pinched her cheeks, just to shut her. I don't want her to say more of the truth about my stupidity. I know im so stupid, but hearing she says something like that... perhaps she's not really a brat. I don't want her to pity me though.
"ouch...it hurts !" she protested.
"well thanks for the speech, that was really 'enlightening' me, but i need to go to work. It's almost 10 and...God, im still so sleepy but i have middle shift today. That means i need to come to the store before 11, Dre..."
"you better take a shower first, you stink !"
"hey you're the one who stink, you reek of alcohol ughh..." i said as i walk out.
"shut up !"
"Bye, Dre. Oh and, umm...thanks for the food." just before i leave, she grabs my hand causing me to turn back to face her, and she kisses my lips gently, it last about 5 seconds and our lips parted.

I froze like a statue. She just smile and wave her hand in goodbye-motion and went back inside her house. Why it feels like my stomach grumbled ? Am i 'hungry' ? Ughh no, no, no. I shouldn't feel like this.

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