awakening Yoonmin/taekook

ep 3 Tae "my heart; my love"

i never thought i would find a friend that fast, i never thought we would kiss and fuck that fast, i never thought i would fell in love that fast. he was everything i wanted in a partner, he was my everything. we had fun, we played games, i helped him in school, cause obviously i was a bit smarter, we stole kisses from each other, fooled around, while watching movies in his or my room, we fucked, when we had the time. i really had fallen hard for him.

"mom? dad?" "hm, tae?" "what is it son?" "i... i think i fell in love" "realy?!" "who is it?" ".... kookie?" they both froze in their doing and looked surprised at me. "kookie? in jungkook, your friend?" my mom asked. i nodded. tears in my eyes. they looked at each other. "soooo.... u still can adopt my grandchildren then" "yes, u know honey, they can get married now. so we would have a wedding ceremony and all shinanaganze!" they smiled. " oh we shouldnt invite your uncles side, u know, they are too oldschool." "hm, what colours u have in mind? we cant get a church wedding, but there are a lot of beautiful locations we should have a look. and my sister could make the cake" my mom clapped.

am i am dreaming?! what the fuck is going on! they chatted and planned a wedding allready. "ahm.... we just found out that we like each other!" i threw in. they looked at me. "oh u are still here.... yeah, but it cant be bad, if we dont just figure out a bit" "yeah... i am very thankfull for that... but u are not... angry with me? i mean i always had girls..." "hm... its a bit odd, i have to admit, but i saw how happy u were with him. u never were that happy with anyone. so i think u made the right choice. he is a keeper. and i think your sex is great too?" mom raised her brows with the sentence. i flamed up and looked down emberassed. dad laught. "u emberassed him, honey!" "oh come on! we three always talked about sex" "but moooommm...." i cringed. "just be safe, ok" "he isnt sick, he hasnt got anything nasty. me neither" "we know, just take resposibillity and always use a condom" "not that one of u get knocked up, but your father is right" i cringed more. "we are all good, thanks" "by the way, u can ask your doctor today, remember? u need your shot" i rolled my eyes. "noooo, i hate needles!" "still a baby!" my father grinned. "as i remember u needed mom to hold your hands, when u got your flu shot!" i grinned at my dad. "that.... why does he know that?!" he looked at my mom. she shrugged her shoulders and looked away. "have no clue"

i was nervous. just got my shot and the doc asked me if i had any questions. so i just blurted out. first he was surprised, but answered all my questions. he warned me about stds and hiv, always to use a condom and not fucking around. mom drove me back home and i was relieved. now i knew more. "do u think i was always this way?" mom looked at me and back to the street. "hm... it doesnt matter if u love a girl or a boy, darling. what matters is that u love somebody and that this somebody loves u back. i think thats the most important aspect of love. i am not dissapointed. its just gonna be a bit harder to get grandchildren, but i think u two will find a way, when u are ready for them. i am happy for u tae." "thank u so much mom." she started to laugh. "what?" "just thought of, how surprised and shocked i was, when i caught u and your girlfriend one time. i was more shocked to find out that u with your 13 years were having sex, than now beeing gay." she chuckelt all the way home.

with all that from my chest, i could concentrate to figure out to tell kook about my feelings. i had no clue, if he felt the same, or if he would break my heart. so i waited nervously at the cabin for him.

"hey, whats up? whats the emergency? are u not ok? did the doc say anything?" "no no, all ok and healthy. just we should use condoms all the time" "why? i only fuck u" i looked at him. "are u?" he noded. "yeah, of course, okay, only once this girl, u know" i noded. "whats going on tae?" i couldnt look into his face. he grabed my shoulders harshly. "are u breaking up with me? are u leaving me?!" i was surprised. "are we together like that, that i could break up?" "what? huh?" "are we together kook? like boyfriends?" he looked big eyed. "i dont know" he whispered. "are we?.... what are we, tae?" "i asked u first" "but.... what u want us to be?" "best friends and boyfriends. real boyfriends. i want everything! couple rings, holding hands, having dates, anniverserys, everything" he looked shocked at me. "dont u want that too?" my voice crackt. suddenly i was sad, crasht. he took some steps back and took some breaths. "so jiminie was right" "with what?" "that u love me" we starred at each other. "arent u? kook? in love with me too?" he stood there in silence. i needed air. "what did u thought? with all we done? u d think i would just blow u for fun? spread my legs for just in the moment of hornyness?" he gulped and slowly noded his head. "yeah, kinda..." he pressed his hands onto his eyes. i was on the verge of breaking down completly. not infront of him! i sighed and walked away. he came after me and yanked me around. "dont leave me now" "what do u expect?! fucking around without the consequences? as if my feelings dont matter at all? i love u, kook. i crave for our little touches and kisses. feeling your skin on mine. i cant just push a button and everything is away. it hurts. u hurt me. and i need a break to figure out if i can still be your friend" "tae.... u cant leave me" "why?" "cause i need u!" "for what?! for sex? u can easily find someone else for that" "but.... i want u" "so u have feelings for me?!" now i was surprised. he backed away again. "i dont know" "how about u find out and than we can discuss about us and what relationship we gonna have in the future?!" his face showed pain, but he noded. "ok. i ll go home now. see u tomorrow in school. .... bye kook" with that i walked back home, he didnt try to stop me again.