Alcoholism

Chapter Three One Step Forward, Five Steps Back

When I woke up, my head was against the ground. And my butt was lying in the air. Not the position I remember being in last night. But that was beside the point. My head was pounding. My penis was throbbing. And my butt was sore. As I attempted to get up from my slump. My neck also started to throb from the way I had been sleeping all night. Instead I just plopped over on my shell. "Uggh." I moaned. I had a severe hangover. I lightly placed my hand on my face. "I really need to stop drinking." I rubbed the corners of my eyes with the tips of my fingers in a circular motion. I heard a loud noise. "Oh for the love of.." I started. But then I realized. It was april. Coming to find me. "Donnie!" She said. I barely opened my eyes. I turned to her and said. "May I help you?" She raised her voice at me. "What are you doing out here?! Why do you guys always do this?!" She attempted to lift me. Fragile human. I slowly got up on my knees. Then on to my feet. I stumbled a few times. But was finally able to walk a little. I turned to her and said. "Don't tell me how to live my life, woman!" I raised my finger at her as j spoke grubby. She walked me back to the house and to my bed. I placed my hand on my lower back. The pain was increasing. "Ahh." I said. She laid me down on my bed and turned off the lights. Until my hangover had passed.

I had a dream. Of memories. My past. It all collided together. The crying. Bleeding. Suffering. Pain. The messy endings and painful beginnings. The dream. I was surrounded by darkness. Floating. "Hello?" I said as I looked around. A high pitched voice said. "What have you done to me?" I followed it. April popped out at me. Except she was covered in blood. From her wrists to her knees. It dripped slowly down to the invisible floor. And april. She was a lot more pale. And her eyes were a rich black. It scared me. I stumbled back and fell. "I-- I'm sorry! I-- I didn't mean--!" I stuttered. Something stabbed me. And blood gushed from my leg. And blood was filling from the ground up. Like I was in a tank. And I couldn't escape. I started to drown in her blood.

I woke up in a deep sweat. Tears rolling down my face. And screaming. I was screaming. Leo came running to me. "Donnie! What's wrong?" He said. I glanced down at the scars on his arms. "Nothing." I said vaguely and rolled over in bed. I could feel him hovering. I could feel his body over mine. He sat idly beside me. "Look Don. If it's about last night, we were just--" he began. "It's not." I said. Tears were streaming down my cheeks again. He placed his hand on my side. "Everything is gonah be okay." He said sternly. He sat there with me for a while as I silently cried. If he saw, I don't know. But his firm grip was comforting. And I'm glad he was there. At least there is one person I can count on. Leo was there. They all were. When death became my enemy. When it all happened to quickly. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did.