Alcoholism

Chapter Four Alcoholics

I'm not sure how this all came to be. How I started this whole thing. I guess it's when depression grabbed hold of me by the throat and shook me hard to the core. I took a sip of vodka. "Uggh." I moaned. I walked towards my desk where the beer bottle had shattered the night before. Pieces of glass scattered across the floor with blood accompanying it. My blood. My vision became blurred and it's almost as if I could see what had happened. Like I could see the scene happening right before my eyes. One bottle after another. Falling to the floor. And so was my head. I curled up. Stumbled. And fell. Glass puncturing my fragile skin. Then Mikey took me away. He was pretty knocked up. Why did I encourage these bad habits?

I started the drinking a little after she. I can hardly say it. My thoughts rolled through my mind as I swept up my lab. But I continued to sweep. And well. She. April's mother. The one we found locked in the Kraang ship. The one who turned us into monsters. Something had to be done. We couldn't let her attack our family. After all. Raph was the only one not touched by her. But me. I was the most vicious. The one with anger and hatred built up inside. I couldn't let anyone see. But when she turned me. I. It was all let out. As was Leo's. But mine was stronger. I killed April's mother out of seething rage. And Leo. He. He doesn't remember but he ripped her to shreds. She didn't even look human when we got through with her. And we. We. As I thought about it. I felt disgusted with myself. But I had to let it out. We raped her.

"Hey donnie?" A voice called as I was putting the remains of glass in the trash can. I looked up to see that it was Leo again. I walked over to the corner of my lab to put up the dust pan an broom. Then to my brother. "Yes, Leo?" He rubbed his arm and looked down. And by the disgusted frown on his face. I knew it was serious. I gently pushed him to my lab desk. I helped him sit down in the chair as I leaned against my desk. "What's wrong? I know you didn't come by to say hello." I said strongly. Then I witnessed redness on his wrist. I grabbed it quickly. "Why?!" I said loudly. There were so many cuts. So much blood that had been sacrificed. He started to cry. "I can't do it Don! What happened to April's mom. The dreams. What we did to her--" he trailed off into his sobs. "Leo. I've felt the same way." I picked up my bottle of vodka and offered him a swig. He took it. And gulped down a little. I couldn't help but feel useless. By the redness and measure of the cuts. I'm shocked he didn't die. They were pretty deep and looked fresh. I should know. I do it myself. I continued my sentence after a long pause. "Brother, your our leader. If you go down. We all do. And I know what you've been through. You forget. I did it too. All of it." I put my head down in shame. I walked around the desk with my back to him. "Some things you may have forgotten." I started. "But me. I remember it all."