After half of hour Tord finished his beer. He had high alcohol tolerance so he didn't had to worry much about getting drunk. He just felt a bit tipsy. He looked over at Tom. Thomas had finished his bottle a while ago and was just snuggled close to Tord, soft whines leaving his lips as he lazily fiddled with his coat and muttered a quiet "H-Hmm...sir?" The brit tilted his head to look up, all while was snuggled close to Tord. Tord didn't mind Tom moved closer. He looked down at him ''Hm?'' He raised a brow. He noticed Tom's face was pure red, meaning he's drunk as fuck. "W-Whyy are you 'o nice to me?" He slurred out, climbing onto Tord's lap after a bit, then wrapped his arms lazily around his shoulders "I-I don' get it.." Tord blushed a little bit and looked on side. He stayed silent.
"H-Heyy..answer me!" He huffed, now pushing Tord down against the sheets as he stayed firmly on his lap. Tord looked up at him a bit surprised. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing come out. He kept staring at Tom though. Thomas pouted and whined softly, his eyes watering a bit now "P-Pleasee...just t-tell me...d-do you plan o-on..on using me too? B-Blue Leader d-did the same things you're doing-" he slurred out, then moved his hands to rub his eyes gently and wipe away the tears messily "I-I'll do whatever you w-want me to if that's what you want, s-sir.." He stuttered out. Tord wide his eyes ''WH- NO!!'' He almost instantly protested, sitting up stright in front of Tom ''T-Tom i'd never do anything like that to you without your premission!'' He frowned ''..Don't you trust me?'' He seemed to be a bit upset, this look in his eyes were more than just sadness tho. He hated when someone was scared of him or was thinking he'll do something bad. He was not a monster..
..Right?
Thomas whimpered and sniffled "I-It's noott-" he hiccuped softly, then continued "I-it' not e-easy for me..." he mumbled, whimpering "I-I'm n-not mean a-and I'm sorry if I s-sound mean, b-but...I-I spent too much time a-around Blue...t-this isnn't normal for me.." he slurred out, then got off of him and lazily turned away. Tord looked down and curled up his legs, sighing a bit. He felt a bit hurt by that. He wanted Tom to trust him, but Blue Leader made him afraid literaly of a touch. He felt terrible thinking, that Tom just thinks about him the same. Thomas hiccuped softly and whimpered, tears now rolling down his cheeks as he cried "i-I'm sorry, I-I..I-I don't w-wanna upset you, I-I just...B-Blue was l-like you when I-I first met him too...h-he was sweet snd k-kind and he made m-me trust him...I-I don't wanna f-fall for that again.." he whimpered out. You can't really blame Tom- because, he probably joined Blue's army at a really young age, 18-19, a young man full of hopes and dreams. He joins Blue's army and meets him one day. It's like "love" at first sight. Tom's head over heels over Blue, and Blue seems to feel the same. They grow closer and hang out more often. Blue starts growing more stressed and more agressive..then they have their first time together, it's sweet, but still rough. Then, as the years go by, instead of everything getting better and it becoming a fairytale, Blue instead turns it into a nightmare for Tom- and he blames it all on the Secretary. So, having someone you love and trust repeatedly tell you every day you're nothing but a toy and tell you about how useless you are is more than expected to leave a mark on a person- Tom's vulnerable and he's scared, he's not gonna fall for the first person to be nice to him in years in less than two days..
Tord looked at him and frowned. He grabbed his both shoulders ''N-No! I-It's okay! Please d-don't cry! I'm alright, really!'' He said, though his cracking voice protest everything he said ''D-Don't trust me if you don't f-feel safe here.. I.. Won't keep you h-here if you don't want to..'' He let go of his shoulders and looked on side, he got up from the bed. "T-That's n-not it- p-please don't kick me out-" Tom slurred out, but still sounded desperate and upset as tears streamed down his cheeks and he cried more "T-T-That's not what I-I meant- P-please- j-just listen- p-please understand- I-I'm trying my best!" He cried heavily. Tord looked behind him at Tom. He frowned in sad way and sat back on the bed in front of him. He put his both hands on Tom's cheeks and gently wipe away his tears with his thumbs. ''..I promise I won't.. I-I know you're trying your best.. I'm sorry too.. B-But...'' He looked straight into his eyes ''..Thanks to you I don't feel alone in here anymore...'' He smiled at him sadly a bit, tearing up as well slightly. Thomas whimpered softly before he was resting his head against his hands, sniffling and whimpering softly "T-Thank you, sir..." he muttered nervously, clinging weakly onto him. Tord bit his lip ''..Tom.. If you feel uncomfortable with me in any way.. Please tell me..'' He paused and pushed Tom's head into his chest so he won't see Tord's tears. He shakly hugged him, feeling terrible to even ask that. Thomas looked away and whimpered, fiddling with his shirt as he sniffled and tears rolled down his cheeks. Tord felt even worse now ''..Tell me'' He choked out quietly. "I-I'm okay.." he mumbled shakily, whimpering and softly apologizing to the man holding him. Tord looked down ''I-It's okay!'' He tried to sound cheerful, but it sounded very, very fake. He was barely able to say anything. He just wanted to be happy, but there was no way he'd get it. "D-Don't cry.." he whimpered out softly, noticing Tord's glossy eyes while tears rolling down his own cheeks before he let out a pained whimper. Tord couldn't hold his tears. He let go of Tom and covered his face, so Tom still won't see him. Hugging him felt even more painful. He knew exactly what was the strong feeling he felt. He knew Tom won't feel the same tho. The whole room was silent, only him sobbing silently, trying to do it as quiet as possible. "I-I'm sorry- s-stop crying, please don't cry!" He whimpeted out, trembling as he sticked close to him. ''I-I can't!'' He said, trying to stop himself. God, he had to look like a pethetic baby for Tom. He got up from the bed, wanting to leave the room so Tom won't see him. He was ashamed of himself, *how could I even show emotions? He'll tell anyone and everyone will think of me that I'm WEAK!''* He thinked while getting up. Tom tried to get him to come back, but he was soon left alone in this room, drunk and sad, which wasn't the best combination. Tord went to the bathroom and lock himself there, sliding down the doors, crying.
~Timeskip~
Thomas had passed out after crying for a long time, and he was now curled up on the bed, awake as the sun was rising. He had a bad hangover, and he could remember all that happened..or well, some of it..."I'm really just a slut, aren't I?" Tord went out of his bathroom. Yes, he stayed there ALL night. He looked terrible. He had bags under his eyes, red face meaning he was crying, messy hair and literally half asleep at all times. Yep. He didn't sleep at all. He was just walking around the base, looking literally like whole live left him. Thomas fiddled with his sheets, too tired to move, and the pain was back and it was even worse than before...
Tord needed to smoke, but he remembered he left his cigar in Tom's room. He sighed and made his way to Tom's room, knocking onto it, waiting for an answer. Thomas looked at the door and whimpered, pulling the sheets over himself "Come on in.." he mumbled. Tord entered his room and looked at him. His hair horns went down seeing him He looked literally kinda like a sad cat. Tord looked on side, not wanting to look at him and looked around for his cigar. He noticed he left it on the bedside table so he reached for it and took it. Thomas shakily sat up, struggling a bit to stay like that "Please don't go.." he said quietly, his voice raspy. Tord looked at him, he looked tired as fuck, though confused. He didn't wanted to protest though, he sat on the bed beside Tom, his head bobbed slightly of being exhausted. Thomas then dragged himself over to him and then laid down, his head on his lap as he whimpered softly. Tord looked down at him. He put his hand on Tom's head, but remembered Tom didn't liked it before, so he moved it away, still looking at him with same stare as before. Thomas felt like he was doing something wrong, and slowly got away from him, thinking that Tord was definitely mad at him because of his expression. Tord was angry at everything around him, but not at Tom. He didn't do anything. He pulled him into a tight hug. He needed it right now. Tom snuggled close to him, whimpered softly and hugged him back and buried his face into his chest. ''..I'm sorry..'' He said quietly, sighing. ''..I have something to say though..'' He said, taking a deep breathe and staying silent for a moment, looking down. "What..?" Tom asked quietly, wondering what he wanted to say. Tord looked down at Tom and pulled his chin up to face him to look at him into eyes when he'll be saying that. ''..I.. uh..'' He still didn't knew how to start. He gulped ''I. HAVE A CRUSH. OKAY.'' He barely choked out. He took a deep breathe again and covered his face, wanting to collect his thoughts. "On who..?" Tom asked, confused at first before his cheeks were heating up and he pulled away slightly, his face flushed now "O-On me..?" He asked. Tord frowned and looked at him freaked out. He already regreted what he said. He only nodded in response and bit his lip. He knew there was no way this could end good, he looked down ''..Sorry.. I won't bother you about that anymore.. Just forget about it..'' He said and wanted to get up, already feeling on edge of crying again. "N-Nono- come back-" he whimpered out, quickly grabbing his hand, his eyes watering. He was doing it all again, falling for another leader and praying it'd end up better. Tord stopped, not turning around. He wasn't strong enough to face him right now, he kept looking down, staying silent. "I-I...We can give it a try!" He stuttered out, his face red as he teared up and whimpered "Please don't go again.." Tord frowned, thinking Tom only wants him to feel better. Though he didn't wanted to leave Tom as well, he turned around, teared up and sat on the bed next to Tom, looking down. Tom gently nuzzled him and grabbed his hands weakily, holding them tightly "I-I...l-love me, please- let me love you and i-i'll return the favor.." he whimpered out. Tord looked at him into eyes, he wasn't sure if he should do the first move, he stayed quiet, staring at Tom with sight hope tho. He didn't knew if Tom was ready for first big step tho, he stayed like frozen there, fighting his thoughts. Thomas bit his lip, before he was falling apart in Tord's arms and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
YOU ARE READING
My Little Slut | EddsWorld TomTord
FanficThomas Ridgewell is Blue Leaders Secretary- at least that's what Tom want to assure himself of. He don't want to think about what he REALLY is for his leader.. ''Tom, tell me what happened.'' He said more firmly, he had enough with Tom getting hurt...