Roller coaster [m.c] book 1

birthday

Happy birthday michael. I can't believe you're 19. I remember when you turned 18; I was so happy for you. You make me so happy, and you make me smile, and you make me want to get out of bed every morning. I wish I could met you and tell you in person, but I'm glad that I found out about the band, and that you're in it. Everything about you is perfect. Your hair, even if it's a weird shade, you'll still rock it. ((I honestly thought green was going to look bad but it's one of my favorites now )) I don't know what I would do without your unintentional saying of my name multiple times, or your stupid jokes, or your stupid pick up lines or your stupid drunk video game playing at 5 am or your stupid guitar solos that you have or your stupid SnapBack and beanies and your music taste and your not punk rock personality. I don't know how many more times im going to say it, but you make me so happy. Just hearing your name makes me smile or laugh bc you make me happy. Hell, you saved my life. Without you, I'll be like what happened to you in the story (too soon?)

At the beginning of the story, you can tell I was very depressed. I still am. But, bc of michael, he helped me again. He had be throw out my blades, and had both of my suicide attempts a fail. I don't know what I'll do without you, or anything bc you're the person I love. I know that you'll never know me, or love me, but I know that you saved my life, and I'm glad I didn't give it up.

Remember when I first found out about 5sos. It was after the death of someone very close to me. I listened to them, and I loved them. I was an Ashton girl, but then something started to happen. I started to cut. I start to get suicidal thoughts and hear voices in my head telling me I'm a waste of space. Then, I got a surprise. I saw one direction in concert. July 8th 2013. I loved ashton, don't get me wrong, but there was something about michael that I Couldn't describe. I fell in love with him at the concert.

Later on, I found out about this, thing. You know those recordings of the boys say "stay strong beautiful?" Well there's an extended version. Michael's is on suicide.

"Before Committing suicide and hurting yourself, think of everyone else too. It's not just you that's hurting, it's also me. I can't lose you guys too. Some of my followers have committed suicide, and I didn't know. And I don't wanna lose you too. You guys are the best ever and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

The pain in his voice in the video made me realize that he is the one. That he can help me through this. So I let him. And I'm still here today.

So, thank you. Thank you for living, thank you for smiling, thank you for not giving up. Because you made me who I am today.