Six Feet Under

The Songs of You

Finally, we did. We did get over you. I'm writing for two individuals in one chapter. Because, is easier. We think the same thing. Our souls got a way back to each other so we can kill what is rest of this love we feel for you. I don't deny that it was lovely at first but, really painful at the end let me say. You avoid falling in love while you let me go all of the way to it. Just for you not to accept it. Maybe that was your idea. Make yourself feel that you still have the power of having us in the palm of your hand. Everyone. But, you really don't. You witch! That is the most miserable thing you could ever do to anyone. You don't pretend love, it grows in you. That is bad girl. And you will pay for it. 

You were everything we ever wanted but, we were not clear that you didn't feel the same. You will never hurt us again. You will never break us down again. I fucking promise that to you. You are not the one anymore, you're not our sweet child anymore. You are not our poor girl ever again. I could promise to you that we moved on. Certainly, we did with a lot of pain. Without you life has been pleasant but not perfect. Not yet. We will get there. I am getting there. I am in the point you don't exist anymore and it feels okay. It feels okay not to think I'm doing something wrong because, I don't get an answer back. It feels okay not needing you to breath. I can close my eyes tonight and breath. I  know it took a while too long but it feels so great not needing to see you so I know it's over. And, it's not cruel. For us, is fair. It is so fucking fair to hate you because it was not something I created in my mind you fucking build this for you. 

We are healing. Half soul did faster than the other but, it is getting there. And, I wish one day you see what you've done. Don't you ever dare to come back! I could take the courage to call you "my love" again but, you will not answer back, as always. Never come back! If you do, I will try to give you all you need and make you feel the most happiest and safe person alive and I will hurt you. Like you did to me. That was even more painful than the knife in my skin. I don't have that need anymore. I dare myself not to need it. I will hurt someone else instead of me. I know that. 

There's a lot of songs that sounds like you. I sing all of them wishing you can hear how hurt I am. Wishing you could feel my pain. But, the very last song is different. I sing that one with hate. Wishing you feel it millions of miles away. At the end, we noticed a lot. We are worth of love. We are worth of all good things you will never know about. Because, you are selfish and we were not the problem. We gave you all we had but, you rejected it. The problem was you, playing the victim and us believing we could save you. From what? From fucking what? Just fucking tell me you gave a fuck about us! If you step in front of me trying to explain I will not believe a word you say. You had the chance to be honest, you had it, millions of times. God damn this fucking love I can't let go. I do not fucking want it anymore. I am lying but, I am strong enough to say, STOP. 

It a matter of time that I meet someone else. And, that person will take me away from you.  I used to love you. I used to know you. I don't anymore. And, I didn't meat to hate you but it was quite fair for me to stop this feeling. I wasn't just hurting myself but other people who DO love me. After all, you are not here. You don't want to be here. So, I finally let you go.

I listen to all the songs we used to listen together and I just see you vanishing from them. You are quite vanishing from my life. I will open my heart again, I will dance again, I will sing again, I will laugh, smile, look, get intimate... I will open myself again, to someone else.