Sex, Voyeurism and Murder: Caskett Fan Fiction - DISCONTINUED

Chapter Four

The next morning, Kate woke up hearing an even paced beating under her ear and feeling a solid form against her. Peeling her tired eyes open, she saw the still peacefully sleeping Castle, his hair tousled from sleep, his mouth hanging open. Smiling to herself, Kate draped her arm over his chest and let her eyes slip back closed, enjoying being close to him again.

When she woke again a few hours later, the warm, solid body she was curled against was gone and the space beside her was cold. Sitting up, she looked around the room, confused and scared to realise that she was in Castle's bedroom without him. Her brain still foggy, she tried to recall how she got there but to no avail. Panicking, she lifted the sheets and was comforted to see that she was still wearing the pyjamas that he had leant her. Letting out a sigh of relief, Kate threw back the covers and got out of the bed, walking towards the kitchen only to stop short when she saw Castle sitting at his desk, furiously tapping away at his keyboard, his fingers hitting each letter with lightening precision. Smiling softly to herself as she watched him work, Kate leant against the door way and watched as he mouthed the words as he typed them, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. Chuckling quietly to herself, Kate quietly walked over to him, running her fingers through his hair as she came to stand behind him. Castle jumped slightly, having not heard her come in, but relaxed into her touch almost immediately.

"Morning." She greeted.

"Good morning." He replied.

"What are you working on?" She asked curiously, trying to sneak a peek at the open word document. Slightly self conscious, Castle minimised it with a quick tap of a few keys.

"Not much." He replied. Raising an eyebrow at his speed of hiding it from her, Kate shrugged her shoulders and stepped back, allowing him to get out of his chair, and walked into the kitchen to make a much needed pot of coffee. Kate should have know that Castle wouldn't have a coffee pot in his house, obviously preferring the superior taste of that freshly brewed from a coffee machine. Smiling and shaking her head, she searched for the coffee pods and mugs, frowning as she tried to figure out the difference between the coloured pods.

"Who the hell would make a system this... Retarded!" She grumbled to herself. Kate jumped when she heard a soft chuckle from behind her.

"It really isn't that complicated, Kate. How about you work on breakfast and I do the coffee?" He smiled at her gently, his eyes still bloodshot from the night before, the emotion still evident on his face. Kate smiled gently at him and nodded, heading over to the fridge to collect the ingredients she needed.

It wasn't long before the coffee was brewed and breakfast was cooked and they were sitting at the table, eating in an awkward silence.

"So, why not pancakes?" Castle asked after taking a sip of his coffee. Kate simply raised an eyebrow and waited for it to click. "Oh." Was all he said, his eyes falling back down to the scrambled eggs on his plate, shifting them around his plate.

"Castle." Kate said gently, waiting for him to look back at her. "Rick, we need to talk about what happened." She saw him stiffen before putting another mouthful of food in his mouth. "It happened, Rick. And we need to talk about it. Pretending it didn't happen isn't going to make things any better."

"What do you want me to say, Kate? That I had to imagine that we were the only people in the room just to maintain an erection? That every time I saw the pain on your face, the pain I was causing, my heart broke a little each time? That the fact that those perverts were staring at you while we... That it made my blood boil so bad that I wanted to knock them out? Is that what you want to hear?" He looked up at her stone faced, pain, anger, and regret swimming in his eyes.

To say that Kate was surprised by his outburst was an understatement.

She was speechless.

She had no idea that his feelings were that intense about the experience, or how profoundly it had affected him.

"I know how it affected you, Kate. And I hate myself for it, and I would do anything to take it back, but I can't. So I just want to forget about it and move on." Castle said as he collected his plate and mug, standing up to take them to the sink.

"No." She told him, looking up at him with a stern face. "I refuse to just forget about it and move on. Yes, it was not how I imagined my first time with you to be, but it happened." She told him, standing up herself. "Yes, it hurt and I was humiliated to be exposed to strangers like that and that we were forced on each other. But those men are behind bars now. And..." Kate took a deep breath and prepared herself for what she was about to say. "Next time it will be just us." Castle's head snapped up and looked at her with shock and confusion. "And it will be on our terms. And it will be far more intimate."

"I don't know if I can." Castle whispered misty eyed.

"Give it time." She assured him, putting her hand over his. "It'll happen when the time is right."

A.N. I know this is a short chapter, but I felt that for the next one, it's a good place to separate the chapters. Also, I haven't forgotten about my other stories. I am still working on them but my mind has been elsewhere due to several university assignments due and following the death of my 17 year old dog Lady.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter nevertheless. Comment and favourite it.