Silent(Short Story)

7.

Beep Beeeeeep Beeep

I swear I'm going to throw my alarm clock to the wall smashing it into a millon of pieces one day. I get up and get dress not caring about my appearance I let my hair be. Fuck it. Once again loud ass people talking about who knows what. I get to my locker but if course he's there. What part of leave me alone did he not understand. Whatever. I'll just GI to class without my homework so be it. I found a seat in the back if my literature class watching more and more people come in and of course Jacob sits next to me. What's his deal anyway. Why oit of all the guys and girls here does he constantly stay by my side. I'm not special in any way shape or firm so what's the use.

Rayan wheres your homework The teacher says

Well obviously if its not fucking here then its not here. Its simple as that. But silence is my only response.

Rayan you had a whole lot of time to thus classes homework

And you had a whole week to put my grade in the gradebook why does it matter? This is my first time I've never turned in my uomewrok to this class. Why is she so worked up on me? I know damn well half of these other students did not do it.

Its okay I was blocking him from his locker so he couldn't get to it

Is he really covering for me .

Oh in that case both of you detention

The room was filled with snickers but honestly I can careless. I just want to get out of here already.

Alright class you will be doing partner work today.

Great. Fucking Great.

In order for you all to bond more write about how you feel and why, write about what makes you ,You

Bond? Is she serious? This is not the second grade but I grab a pencil and piece of paper and write away.

How do I feel. How do I feel? As of this moment, exhausted and irratated by my teacher. In general, Im done. Yes. I'm done with everything and everyone around me. I'm done with being taken advantage of as if I'm some ragdoll as if I'm not even human. I'm done trying to explain myself it those who can give less than two fucks. Im especially done with the word trust. Some say that trust can't happen without us. Bullshit. I'm done with society and how fucked up and hypocritical it is. You want people to be themselves then judge them for it. I'm done with being portrayed as weak. Hell I'm done with myself because I lack the confidence of the average teen. I'm donewith not knowing what I even feel. I'm done. Now what makes me , me. Being with the wrong people. I got so attached that I didn't recognize the good in anyone else. The good that I can see in him....Jacob. Then again it can be a facade anyhow so why fall for it. I will only end up with the feeling of emptiness and hurt again.That is what I can't deal with again. I just won't.This is why the part of me I express is Silent. Trust issues some may say,but really its more of a my issue that I may or may not get over . I'm in need of something ,unsure of what but since its not here then why try to figure it out. Until then I remain not only done, but Silent.

R.
The bell rings. I leave and drag myself to my next class.Without looking at anyone behind me.
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He left his assignment. Since I respect his privacy I won't read it. I'll hand it to him next class. I must take things slow if this is going to work. If we will ever work. He's worth the wait, but if he only knew how much he means to me. I hurry along the crowded hallways and instantly spot him. He's heading for the gym once again for P.E. I jog towards him lightly grabbing his arm.

Rayan you left your paper.

He quickly snatches away from me.

I did not read it Rayan. Trust me I respect your privacy. I just wanted to give it back to you.

His worried stare turns back into a small smile.

Progess.

We should head to the locker rooms right about now let's go.

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Thank god he didn't read it. That word trust the was it lingers in my head. I hate it but somehow when he says it, it seems as if he really means it...does he? I'm not sure. I was dragged to the locker rooms by him. I didn't change because I'm not fucking participating in this class again I don't care what coach says. Lesson learned. I grabbed my sketch book and head to the bleachers. I started to sketch out the first thing that popped in my head. A half an hour went by and Jacob decides to sit next to me curious about what I'm doing.

What are you drawing there Rayan? Can I see?

I nod hesitantly giving my work to him. Not even realizing that I drew him . Was he really the first thing that popped up in my head? This doesn't mean anything right? Or could it be my way of letting him in.

Rayan this .. I'm speechless. I never knew you could draw so perfectly. If this is your way of tekkin me something just know your not alone. Your also the first thing that pops in my head.

This was the moment when I thought that he may be what I am missing. Then I quickly get rid of the thought when I realize that this is all to real. Nothing is ever this perfect. I respond with the way I always do. I get up and walk away. Leaving behind something that could end up both hurting me and completing me. Which is right , I'm not sure and I don't plan on figuring it out anyway.