𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐬, Sons Of Anarchy.

ii. requiem of innocence

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ii. REQUIEM OF INNOCENCE

The years I spent apart from this town were liberating─ rapturous, even. You really don't feel free from someone until you're across the country from them. But I'm not only talking about Vince. My final nights in Charming before moving to Maine were confusing ones. I had tried to convince Jackson to come with me so we could be together. But alas, he stayed behind for the club and for his family.

Jackson, now that was a name I hadn't dare let pass my lips in Bridgton. Just the thought of him made my stomach twist and turn, especially after I visited two years after my departure. I had promised myself one last time in this godforsaken town─ closure in a way. Afterwards, I'd head straight up to Washington and make a brand new life for myself. I figured if the move meant freedom from Vince, why not have freedom from Charming as well?

But, as expected, the universe had vastly different plans for me. Once I had gotten into Charming and reunited with my─ and I quote─"family", things became messy for me and Jackson. After we slept together for (what I had hoped) to be the very last time in this lifetime, I told him I wasn't staying in Charming. He was heartbroken─ wounded, even; and like any other wounded animal, his fighting style became deadly. So, in return, he broke my heart just as I did his.

He sent me off to Washington a dejected nineteen-year-old who would soon find out she was with child. My son, Billy always asked me about his real father. I never knew what to say to him, I felt that Jax had disowned him when he disowned me. Which sounds silly, I know. He never knew of his unplanned son, so how could he disown him?

I guess that was part of the reason I was back in Charming after seven years. I wanted to give Billy the chance to know his father the way I knew my mother. As much as I resented Jax in some odd way, I could never compare his would-be fatherhood skills to my own father. It wouldn't be fair of me, Vince might have been born that sadistic and cruel, but for someone competent enough to have children? You'd have to put in work to be that traumatizing.

"Mommy, where are we?" Billy asked as he strained his neck to look at the surrounding ahead." We're in my hometown. Mommy grew up here." I explained to him, glancing behind me to the backseat.

Billy seemed satisfied with my answer and began questioning me more." So all you were born here and everything?" He chirped, his big green irises watching the passing buildings." Yeah, that's right," I confirmed with a toothy smile." Our family lives here." I continued.

I heard a small gasp come from the backseat before Billy spoke again." So my real dad lives here?" He asked excitedly, leaning forward in his seat. My eyes grew wide at his question. Ah shit, I thought. I knew I couldn't backpedal, and I couldn't lie to him. So, I figured the next best thing was to digress." Are you hungry?" I asked him, looking at him through the rearview mirror.

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 I watched as Billy scarfed his food down eagerly, seemingly unaware of the cruel world around him. He was more like his father than I liked to admit. Billy was a spitting image of Jackson, especially with that beautiful smile he always seemed to have on his face. The only thing to differ the two from each other, were their eyes. Jax had crystal blue eyes with tiny green specks in them, and he seemed to always have them set in a smolder (they reminded me of James Dean's from time to time). Whereas Billy had big, olive green eyes that were filled the a certain innocence that made me all the more protective of him.