𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐬, Sons Of Anarchy.

iii. dead names

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iii. DEAD NAMES

It felt weird to sleep in this house again. I never thought I would, but then again, I never thought I'd be the mother to my best friend's son. I woke up this morning confused for a second until I remember what happened yesterday. The thoughts and images shot back through me and sent me racing to the bathroom so I wouldn't puke everywhere.

I looked at Billy's sleeping face in the reflection of my cracked mirror. His innocence shone through more when he slept than ever─ though he still looked innocent any other time. The covers were pulled up to his chin as he curled himself into the fetal position. The sight made me laugh, he's slept that way ever since he was a baby.

I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his arm gently, waking him slowly but surely. He hummed tiredly, his green eyes fluttering open and peering up at me." Morning sleepyhead," I said in a quiet voice, smiling down at him.

He groaned lightly, evidently not wanting to get out of bed right now." Do we always have to wake up this early?" He whined, squeezing his eyes shut. I laughed at my son, running my hand over his blonde head of hair." If you sleep too late, you won't be able to do anything." I responded.

"I can live with that," He mumbled tiredly. I shook my head at him. He was too much like his father sometimes." C'mon, I made you breakfast. It'll get cold." I ushered him, standing from the edge of the bed.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes." Fine," He mumbled, yawning. I laughed louder this time and walked out of the bedroom.

I was almost in the kitchen when my phone rang in my back pocket. I pulled it out and answered it without looking at the contact." Hello?"

"Hi─ wow, you're a tough girl to get ahold of." My breath hitched in my throat as I hung up. my heart was thumping in my ears.

I whipped around as I heard footsteps behind me. Billy stood there with his fist in his eye, rubbing the sleep out of it." Are you okay, mommy?" He asked through another yawn.

I nodded, my breath heavy." I'm okay─ c'mon, come eat something." I nodded towards the table, where his food was waiting for him.

Billy immediately pranced over and began digging in, whereas I had lost my appetite. I had errands to run today: I had to get Billy enrolled into school since the new semester was approaching quickly and it was already September. I had to deal with the insurance company and make arrangements for the house and whatnot. But that call added one more thing to the list— get a new phone number.

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The car was silent, besides the low buzz of the radio station Gemma had her stereo set to sense before my mother died.

"So, Billy," Gemma began, glancing back towards him," Are you excited to start school on Monday?" Billy perked up and nodded eagerly at her words.

"Yeah! I can't wait!" The boy exclaimed, bringing a smile to mine and Gemma's face. There were two notable things about my son— one, he was a social butterfly who could talk the ear off of anyone, and two, he loved to learn.

Billy's favorite topic— as I recall— was social studies. He was only in the second grade, so they hadn't covered anything too intense like the holocaust. I've always found it funny— how my own son could be so goddamn perplexing. I would say he gets it from me, but no. I promised myself that I would never be one of those parents that claim everything good about their child to be from 'their side of the family.' Billy is Billy; wholly, completely, and irrevocably himself. I won't take credit for such a thing.