the thing is, when i met ashton i knew what i was getting myself into; he was so beautiful. he had no tattoos, no piercings, and golden, curly hair. to the naked eye, he was a normal boy. but he wasn't a normal boy. he clawed you in like you were his prey; even if you tried to get away, he would find you and hook you back in. i never tried to get away, i was far too addicted for that.
my parents warned me about the drugs in the streets but never the ones with hazel eyes and a heartbeat; the ones that were so beautiful and mesmerizing. he was doing me no good.
everyone warned me, or at least attempted to.
"he's not known for being a faithful person, luke."
"i don't care."
i loved him, but the real question was did he love me? i knew i wasn't the only person he was seeing, of course i wasn't. with a body and face like that, it was nearly impossible for me to be the only one.
he didn't even try not to make it obvious.
"where're you going?" i asked, waking up as ashton slipped his clothes back on.
"gemma called," he huffed as he jumped to get his skinny jeans back on.
"oh, um, have fun?" i didn't know what to say, but he was already gone.
i cried myself to sleep that night because i was so hopeless.
i didn't hear from ashton again until he found out i went on a date with some girl; i got woken up by someone banging on my apartment door.
as soon as i answered it, i seen a very angry ashton who backed me up into the wall, before i knew it his lips were angrily on mine and he was gritting, "all mine."
and i knew i was all his, even if i didn't want to be. i didn't have a choice.
he left again when some boy named jake called him up.
he left once again when some other boy by the name of ed said that he was "horny" and that "he needed him".
he tried to leave when gemma called him once again, but i called him out.
"i'm not doing this anymore." i actually made my voice sound confident; but inside i was breaking.
"what are you on about?"
"you know i really like you, and you leave me every night."
"sorry?"
"no you're not. you know you're not. i'm 'your's', yet you could give a fuck less about me." i was getting worked up.
"you know i care about you."
"what's my middle name?" i asked, tears filling my eyes.
silence filled the room, proving that ashton didn't know the answer.
"you should go." i whispered, but it was obvious he heard.
"alright,"
it hurt me even more that he didn't try to stay.
i knew he would be back soon and the thing is, i would let him.
---
i went on four dates in one week; anything to stay out of my apartment.
i should've known ashton was going to find out. and god, did he.
it was two in the morning, impossible for me to be on a date or something when i heard my door being swung open. i knew it was ashton, ashton was the only other person who had a key.
"get up." he actually growled.
"no. i'm sleeping." i mumbled, still half asleep.
quicker then you could count to three, i was getting grabbed out of the comfort of my bed and pushed, harshly might i add, against a wall.
"you're such a fucking liar." ashton gritted through his teeth and i rolled my eyes, used to his anger by now.
"says the person who had the nerve to say he cared about me."
his hand was on my neck and then his lips were on mine, kissing angrily and hungrily.
i should've pushed him off when he began palming me through my jeans.
i should've pushed him off when he pushed me onto the bed and began shedding both of us of clothes.
i definitely should've pushed him off when he began aggressively pushing inside of me.
but i couldn't. because ashton is way too addicting for my health.
---
"fuck you, ashton!"
"you do that quite a lot, now don't you?" ashton screamed back.
"oh shut the hell up!"
"make me." ashton said, squinting his eyes.
i crashed his lips against ashton's, it was a sloppy kiss, but when were our kisses neat?
our teeth were clashing, but neither of us pulled apart.
"no, fuck!" but i did.
"ugh, just fucking kiss me."
"no, ashton. it's only me or you leave."
"what?"
"no gemma, no jake, no one else. only me."
"okay."
"okay?"
"okay."
"are you serious?" i asked, incredulously.
"yeah."
"you want to be with me?" i asked again.
"yes, now shut up and kiss me."
i may have been addicted to ashton, but i wouldn't have it any other way.
