Luke stared at the faded and worn picture of him and Ashton that had made a home in his wallet. It feels like just yesterday it was taken. It takes him back to the day it was, to the summer after they graduated college.
Him and Ashton had gone to Los Angeles almost directly after their graduation ceremony had ended, said goodbye to their family members who had showed up and then they were off to the airport. It was a long plane ride but it was worth it. Luke and Ashton had always wanted to go.
The summer was full of days on the beach and the boardwalk. The sound of the ocean and the sound of Ashton's laugh were the soundtrack to Luke's memories of the months they spent there. They'd saved for months and months to be able to rent a house for awhile out there. It's by far Luke's favorite summer to date, he knows it was Ashton's too.
His favorite day of that summer had been the day the picture was taken. Him and Ashton were on the boardwalk yet again, Ashton was in his Weekend Warrior shirt that he'd bought in the first week we were there, realizing that it was far too hot to wear black all day, every day. So, there they were, strolling down the boardwalk with their hands intertwined, smiles on their faces. Every time Luke remembers this summer, it's in bright colors and too much sunlight, the way it really was. But, the way he remembers this day is in soft, warm candle light and in the smell of roses. He thinks of Ashton everytime he sees a red rose.
Luke remembers when Ashton had told him he has a surprise for him when he first woke him up that day, he remembers feeling a rush love and fondness for this adorable idiot who looked like he had the greatest secret in the world. Of course, Luke wasn't expecting that at the end of the boardwalk there would be a table with roses and candles and Luke's favorite food on plates. The sun had set at this point, and most of the people had left, they got to have some privacy at the table that was set for two.
When the food was gone and the drinks were too, Ashton got up from his seat and he knelt on one knee in front of Luke with a gold band in his hand making Luke gasp, and he said,
"Lucas Robert Hemmings, I know that usually i'm not all that romantic, and that I don't really do chick flick type of moments but you're my soulmate and I can't live without you and I really don't want to. I love you so much, Luke. I love everything about you, I love everything you do. I love you when you drive me nuts, and I love you when you keep me calm. I love you at every point in the day and I don't know why I've waited so long to do this. I remember in highschool, when we first met and we immediately hit it off and became friends, I remember our first date and how when you were blushing at something I said I thought, 'Someday, I'm gonna marry this boy', and I hope to god that I was right. So, Luke Hemmings, despite the fact that this wasn't a very good proposal, Will you marry me?"
And Luke remembers saying yes about a million times with tears in his eyes and the biggest smile on his face. He remembers Ashton's answering grin, and the way the cool ring felt on his finger. He remember their first kiss as an engaged couple.
The picture in his hands was taken by a photographer that Ashton had hired that was standing nearby while it all took place. The picture was of Luke and Ashton with smiles on their faces staring straight into each others eyes. It wasn't the only picture taken, of course, but it was Luke's favorite. The picture will always remind him of that night but it will also remind him of a day that was infinitely less happy.
Luke got the call at 2:31 in the afternoon, a year after their wedding and two years after that day on the boardwalk. It was someone from the police station. They were saying Ashton was involved in a crash and that he hadn't made it, they told him they were sorry. Luke remembers the phone slipping through his fingers, remembers staggering back and falling against the kitchen counter. He remembers tears running down his face. He remembers that he'd been at his parent's house visiting his mother, he remembers how scared she looked when Luke suddenly collapsed onto the floor and started dry heaving and screaming that he was dead and that he was gone. He was wearing Ashton's shirt, the one he wore the day he proposed, and it still smelt like him.
When Luke's world crashed down around him it wasn't beautiful, it wasn't song lyrics or poems, it wasn't quiet, it was loud and it was messy. It was a car crashing, it was blood on pavement, it was screaming and falling apart. It was flinching at the sound of his name, it was dry heaving when he saw the street where it had happened.
Luke looks at the picture of them and he remembers the day it was taken, remembers the days and the memories before and after that day. He thinks about how he remembers the day that has long since been erased from Ashton's mind, never to be remembered by him again.
Luke unfolds an old piece of paper from behind the picture. On the piece of paper there are only three words, 'I'm so sorry.' It was left on the windshield of Ashton's totalled car by the person who'd crashed into him and stolen his life away.
