Infatuation~ Dream x georgenotfound (Gream)

chapter 2

I swear I'm so dumb
Dunno how my school want me to start doing gsce stuff I can't even tell my left and rights oh well
Sorry for taking so long I had school and stuff

-MASSIVE TW-
THERE IS SELF HARM, DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS AND SUCIDAL THOUGHTS IN THIS
DONT READ ON IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY ^^ <3
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*clay's pov*

I buried my face in my hands and just exploded, tears poured out my eyes. George had heard me cry, I'm such an idiot I should've of even picked up, he probably thinks I'm a wierdo
I put my head in my pillow and scream, I don't care who can hear me right now I don't want to do this anymore, I hate myself. I sign 'Why' 'Just why' 'Why am I so fucking stupid'
'Why am I here anymore' I layed down on my bed and left my phone on my side, what if I did it 'fuck'

I get up and walked over to my bathroom, I try to stop myself I honestly try but I can't. Pressure and anxiety overtook my body,
A small fake smile placed itself onto my tear stained face.
'This is what everyone wanted' 'Every one hates me' 
I reach for a blade, it had come of whilst shaving the other day
'Even the world wanted to me to do it'
The thin blade settled on my wrist it had been there many times before, years ago
'One,two,three,four,five,six'
The pain, the memories, the hurt overtook my brain and my thoughts
'Seven,eight,nine,ten,eleven'
No one understands, people say I am loved but deep down I know I'm not.
'Twelve,thirteen, fourteen,fifteen'

Suffering and pain drowned me. 'Nobody cares about me' people saw my scars but did they do anything? No.
I glanced down tears welling up in my eyes 
'Was I really just a worthless freak to everyone?'
'Who am I kidding that's all I am
'All I am is a useless piece of shit, people only know me from skeppy'
'I'm a waste of space that no one could ever love'
I could just disappear and not a  single person would care.
I just want someone to accept me for who I am, But no, No matter how hard I try there is always something wrong with me. I can try to fix it​.
'I'm not enough'
'I'm not enough for anyone'
'I'm never going to be enough'
I feel empty, by this time my wrist had been covered in scarlet blood, my once scared arm had relapsed. I don't care anymore, if I die then I die. Nobody would care anyway.

<George's pov> (from the phone call)

What? Was dream crying? What do i do now?
Without thinking I jump on my pc and go into darryl's teamspeak
"BAD" -g
"BAD" -g
"AHH, oh my goodness what" -b
"I was calling dream to tell him i was coming to America but he sounded like he was crying" -g
"WHAT" -b
"His voice was cracking and he was sniffling" -g
"I dont know what to do" -g
"I'm scared" -g
"I'm sure he'll be fine, he's strong"-b
"I'll try and call him now, you should do the same" -b
"Okay, tell me if you hear from him"-g
"Ok bye"-b

          <bbh's pov> (quick one)

I was lying to myself and George.
Dream was not strong, not even close
If anything happened I'm not sure he'd be able to take it, he's been through so much. Yes he's been clean for years but there's always temptation in the back on your mind.

It waits until something happened then it jumps out and hits you, then it haunts you till it gets what it wants, usually self harming or suicide, and as soon as it feels it's victim hurting it gets stronger and more powerful, nearly being able to control the persons thoughts and actions
Now all I scared about is if it has happened to dream

                  <George's pov>
(from where I left off)

Then I left the teamspeak, what had happened. Why was he crying, thoughts consumed my brain
'Is he okay'
'What if he just stubed his toe'
'What if his shit didn't come out'
'What if he has had diarrhoea'
'But what if he's actually not okay'
'What if he has an illness'
'What if he's fainted'
'What if he passed out'
I feel tears fill my eyes, ' what if he's dead' wait no he wouldn't do anything  stupid, he knows everyone loves him. Right?
Tears run down my check, I grab my phone and try and call him
"Sorry i havent answered your call, im probarly taking a piss or my phones dead Text me later Please leave a message for 72836282780"
'Shit'
I try and call him enough 5 times, mostly just to hear his voice, it comforted me. I wiped all of my tears and put my phone down
'I really hope he's okay'
'Well I'll find out tomorrow'
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Woah, added some humour at the end because this chapter was deep, I had some help with it because I was crying way to much and it was hard to think back to the way I used to think
Honestly I hope y'all like this story and I'm sorry for taking so long
-953 words-
If you didn't read the chapter because of the Tw here's what happened

-dream had a breakdown and self harmed
-George told bbh(not knowing what happened to dream)
-George got worried and started crying
-also George had booked a ticket to dream as a sort off surprise

I love y'all and take care <333