Finding Redemption!!! (Complete)

Chapter 2 Elena Raven Blue

"your shit isn't wanted here" he yells at me I'm crying pleading for money

"it will be the last time" i say back

"Elena I'm done. we are done fuck of we cant have you here your destroying our mother" he yells at me walking away from me. I sit on my knees begging and scream into the sky cursing my demons but my demons help me erase the memory of my father being shot right in front of me. that little liquid of the devils juice pulsing through my veins. the constant party going on around me the constant party playing in my head. fighting the itch to steal for fix itch to sell my self for the next memory that pulls me down to forget. my next fix my next liquid of gold if i pump a little extra in maybe it will last that little longer.

Waking alone sweaty and freaking out that i was back there the day my brother said words to me i used to hate him for it i used to think he was the devil. truth be told he wasn't. he wasn't the devil neither was i. i was dealt a shitty hand. i was dealt with memories and mental scares that made me want to forget. i did wrong by the ones that loved me. i did wrong by my own flesh and blood. i tried taking acid down with me. i tried selling my own mothers things, no one in town would except it though they all knew they would call my brother and i had no money to travel to another town. that was 7 years ago.

7 years ago i was nearly pronounced dead i was then signed into a rehab by my mother and brother. i had all my rights taken from me. i was alone but they wanted me to be healthy.. my drugged brain says no that's not what we want. but again that was 7 years ago i was 19 when i last saw my family.

when i was bought into the hospital i was blue and cold to touch. i was saved by the people who worked there but ill never forget what my brother did. even though i put him through hell. hell i put everyone through it. him and Devon come looking for me, They found me in time. they were my hero's in Kuttes. my brothers. I always said to my self i would replay them and ma for all i have done to them.

After a week of being in lock down at the facility we could have visitors but i forced all mine away. in the same day a couple had meeting with us all they talked to us about their son they lost. i watched this brave women tell us the side of a family watching their child choose the easy way out all because a drug made it possible. she made me think of my own Mumma my own brothers and his friends. i never had friends after daddy died i had dealers hell i had my needle.. i watched as the husband who was massive kind of like my father ask us what we want no one spoke so i did

"my life back" i say shy and low and shaking as i haven't been detoxed for long he picks up my folder hands it to the lady called anna and smiles

"and that you will sweet heart" he says ushering me to come forward but i stayed seated I've fallen over a lot that week my body is weak and i had no muscle tone and well i was a walking skeleton. he noticed my dilemma and released everyone from the group he asked me questions. i answered i mean hell what can he do. its also known here i don't talk nor do i communicate with the mind fuck doctor. i know there is pacific term analogy but hell he made me feel fucking worse thought they helped fix you not break you. as we get more into the conversation he mentioned to me he wants me to try another way. he wants to help me. he wants to make me stronger healthier hell he said by the time he is finished ill have a career and a life. at first i was hesitant what dose he want. how dose this benefit them. how dose my mess become theirs. but you know what i did i signed the damn papers. i signed and left with two strangers i just meet to help me become the person i am meant to be.

7 years later and i am I'm healthy stronger hell I'm happy but i know deep down i am not truly happy as i want to see my Mumma and if my brothers allow it i want to see them. but I'm scared. I'm terrified to go back and not because of the drugs or people its my family, its rejection its seeing them push me away. I've prepared for it that's for sure. hell i prey they will so i can continue on my life riding town to town with my ride and my free will. When i stayed with the Wilsons dean and anna they helped me in more way than one. first was the detox then gaining weight now that was hard loads of shakes food and protein and more vitamins than you can think of. but out of the blue become training when he saw i was gaining weight. training was hand in hand combat weights running and eating like a bloody health freak. but then that become me turned out dean was a geek for the government and he done things for the right price. he got me in the door. the day he saw my folder and i was a computer genius before the drugs he knew he could help me. it was a sign he said.

Today i woke up from another terrible dream a lot like all the others i have had. instead of shooting up i walk to my duffle bag and slipped on my work out clothes. i look into the mirror proud of the abs i have gained and my figure its the best i have ever had. i look like Megan fox but more like the one look she had in transformers. yeah i watched a lot of movies in hotel's on my way around. no where has felt home to settle not like i cant afford it. i run until i feel my demons settle i mean ill never be 100 percent perfect but i don't think about it anymore. i go through depression but mostly because i want to know if i still have a mother and brothers if not i can deal with it I've set my mind to it.