Aries:Hitting a police officer
Taurus:Manslaughter
Gemini:Car chases
Cancer:Not paying taxes
Leo:Shoplifting
Virgo:Is actually innocent
Libra:Facebook hacking
Scorpio:Mass murder
Sagittarius:Jumping in a fountain
Capricorn:Trying to cash a stolen check
Aquarius:Going into Area 51
Pisces:Growing a MASSIVE field of weed
