Max

Chapter 10

We spent Christmas at the hospital that year. Sidney was there with us, he's been celebrating with us since fourth grade, when he told us about his parents. It was an emotional day for all of us, since it was our first Christmas without Dad.

"Who wants to speak first this year?" Mom asked. We always made speeches before we handed out the presents.

"I'll start," Sidney replied. "I just want to thank you for hosting me again this year, Mrs. Sekowski. I know you're going through a lot, and I am too, but it really means so much to me." Mom gave him a nod. "James, you're the strongest person I've met. I love you, and I know you're gonna get through this tumor." He looked at me. "And Max, you've been my rock since day one, and I have no idea what I'd do without you." He paused, clearing his throat. "Thanks for being there for me." I gave him a hug, getting choked up as well.

"I'll go next," I said. "Sidney, my best friend since the beginning of time, we're always so happy to have you around Christmas. Thanks for everything you've done for me, I never would've made it through last year without you." Sidney grinned at me. "Mom, thanks for taking care of us and making sure we can all be happy." I paused. "James, you're the best brother I could ever ask for. I love you, man, you're so strong. I know you're gonna get through this."

"Thanks, Max. I guess I'll start with you." James adjusted his beanie. "I love you, dude. You've been here for me through thick and thin, and I always feel like I can tell you everything." I blushed. "Seriously, I can't wait to see you transition and grow as a person. You're such an amazing boy." I felt my heart skip a beat. "You're the best brother I could ask for."

Mom let out a tiny gasp, but it was enough for James to realize what had happened. I wasn't ready to tell Mom, and I didn't want her to hear it on Christmas with Sidney around. "Oh my God, Max, I'm so sorry. Crap, you weren't re--"

"James, please stop talking," I begged. "It's okay, please just don't say anything else." Tears poured down my face. Surprisingly, I wasn't mad at him. He could barely see, he must've forgotten Mom was there. I was mad at myself for not telling her sooner.

"Maxine, do you want to tell me what's going on?" Mom demanded.

"Mom, please, leave Max alone," James cried. "Please. Can we just forget about it?"

"I'm sorry, I need to get out of here," I trembled. "I just need to be alone and think for a while. I'm so sorry." I started to leave when Mom called after me.

"Where are you going, young lady?" she retorted. I didn't answer her right away, tears were falling down my face like raindrops. "Maxine Sekowski!"

"Home." I stood in the doorway and took a few deep breaths. "I'm gonna take the bus home. I can't be here right now." James was crying harder than I ever saw him cry before, and I couldn't help but feel hopeless. Sidney looked like he was about to cry, his mouth gaping open. I turned away and walked out of the room, continuing to sob.

I avoided Mom as much as I could after that. She came home late that night, and came into my room slowly. I pretended to be asleep, feeling angry about the way she reacted.

Days went by and we didn't say a word to each other. On New Year's Eve, I decided to do something that I had been afraid of for so long; cut my hair.

I went into the bathroom at about eight o'clock with a pair of scissors, finally feeling in control of my own life. As my hair fell to the floor, I started to cry. I was happy, and I couldn't keep myself from grinning as I stared into the mirror. My hair looked awful, it was patchy, but at least I was okay with that.

I came out of the bathroom to find Mom standing in my room. When she saw me, I could see her apologetic expression turn to pure rage. "What the hell, Maxine? You can't be serious!" she seethed.