They Will Go Down In History (Remus x OC) Book 2

Chapter 6

"choose wisely, choose wisely," my grandmother's words span around in my head even days after. What could Dumbledore possibly what to talk about and how could it be so bad that my grandmother was angry with the man.

"Viel?" lily's words pulled me out of thought, "you okay?"

"yeah fine, just thinking,"

"you seem awfully thoughtful recently, is something bothering you?"

"multiple things are bothering me lately,"

She frowned at me, "do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know if I should, it's kind of private,"

"then maybe Remus?"

I blushed a little at the mention of his name considering he had been what was bothering me, even more than Dumbledore's wish to talk with me.

"oh, so the concern is Remus I see," lily answered, she read me like a book, maybe even better than Remus could.

"it's just, relationships are hard enough already without a war going on in the mean time,"

"talk to me, maybe I could help? As you know I'm in a relationship,"

"for 3 years now, yes I know, I can't believe it's been 3 years already,"

Lily smiled proudly, "well we love each other, there's nothing really more to it. Besides you and Remus have been together for a year, I think you're doing just fine,"

"it looks happier on the outside than on the inside," I sighed sadly,

"what do you mean?"

"I mean Remus puts on a brave face but sometimes when we're at home the mask cracks,"

"it's only normal, James sometimes also breaks down, you know it's not all bad, it means he feels safe around you,"

"it's not just crying or worrying, it's having nightmares, not sleeping, pacing through the room all night and becoming distant,"

Lily tilted her head slightly sideways as she was a little lost in thought, "I'm guessing you've tried giving him potions to calm his nerves and get him to sleep,"

"yes, and they don't work, the only thing that gets him to come to bed is if I pretend to have a nightmare, than he stays and comforts me until he eventually falls asleep,"

"at least you've found something that's works," she shrugged,

"yes but in the mean time it makes him even more worried,"

"Well obviously," she raised her hand to her head, "you also said he's distant, what do you mean by that?"

"it's like he's worried to gain to much affection,"

"what?"

"before the war officially started, before we joined the order, before all of this, we talked about, well you know, sleeping together. But since the war started it's almost as if he were afraid to touch me, as if I were as fragile as a snowflake. At first I thought it was just the nerves, but we can't even talk about it anymore, he brushes me off each time,"

" maybe it is just nerves, "

I frowned a little as I thought, "no it can't be, at this point it's like we're moving backwards instead of forward,"

"I don't mean to be noisy when I ask this but isn't Remus a virgin?"

"yes, but so I am, I don't see the connection,"

"Well," lily begun, "you know how Remus is, he gets all up in his own head about things. He let's his condition get in the way and convinces himself that he is a bad person for wanting something and so he doesn't allow himself to have it,"

I laughed a little at what lily was suggesting, "so you think Remus is pushing me away because he thinks he doesn't deserve to sleep with me,"

She smiled, "yeah maybe, it's a bit cute, but that's just how Remus works,"

"it's adorable but unnecessary,"

"than you need to talk to him, seriously, Remus is going to avoid it because he'll be embarrassed but just insist on talking about, you've done it before you can do it again,"

"it's not that it's important to me, I just don't want him believing something that isn't true,"

"that's why communication is important,"

As she said that, a loud banging could be heard on the kitchen window. Lily stood up and openned it, allowing an owl to enter, leaving a letter with my name on it. I opened it and recognized the writing.

"who is it from?" lily asked,

I raised my head and looked at her with a worried look, "Dumbledore,"