I'm having a really bad problem of wanting to escape reality and I am just now realizing it. I feel very depressed. I'm feeling extremely unmotivated with the things I need to do. All I've down today is eat and play video games. I've gotten 0 homework done which is completely normal. But I'm having a huge problem of not wanting to be here. I feel really numb. I am feeling miserable and I'm not sure how to fix it.
The only way I know how to really feel okay ish to an extent is eating. But I also am trying to not gain weight. I am eating really unhealthy I think.
The last time I went down this dark numb path. I frickin self harmed to feel. And after like two years I just stopped and things got better. And ever since 11th grade started everything has felt shitty. I am not really happy with my life since then. And part of me think it's a mind set thing. But I feel like everything has been absolutely sucky since then. I've had good moments. But they aren't making up for the crap that keeps going on. It's so annoying. I feel like I need something to make the stupid numb feeling go away and I just don't get what.
