Dread Fort Perilous - Legion X "Infortunatus"

Chapter Three: Viper Company Headquarters

Sizzle-BOOM.

Prisoners screaming.

Trigger, doom.

Falling dust.

Boom.

Scream.

Trigger.

Dust.

'Minion.'

Loran snapped to attention. It had been months since her first time in the practice field, and still she could hear the screaming. Always the screaming. 'Yes, Ash.'

The Sergeant was relaxing on her luxuriously padded armchair, the ghost of a smile on her lips, eyes maliciously glinting. She had the entirety of Viper Company's headquarters all to herself, and was evidently taking the time to indulge in the privilege of her command. She doesn't even need an armchair that large, Loran thought. The thing was clearly built for orcs. The Sergeant was just using it as a bed to lounge around on as she watched Loran answer to her every beck and call.

'I need a footrest.'

Loran looked around. There weren't any footrests in Viper Company HQ. Only abandoned sofas and game tables, walls covered with shelves of books and the trophies and hung medals of the Sergeant's many victories.

Seeing her confusion, the Sergeant smiled. 'You will do just fine.'

'But-'

The Sergeant put a finger to her lips, and stroked the blaster in her holster. Loran quietened.

'No buts. A minion doesn't need to talk.'

By the time Gromon arrived, Loran was kneeling under the feet of the Sergeant, who was valiantly struggling to look majestic from a too-large chair.

The orc saw the scene and rose his hairless brows in amused befuddlement. 'What are you doing, Ash?'

'Training my newest minion,' she replied. 'I have high standards.'

'You call that parody of Galian royalty high standards?'

'It is important that my number one learns to recognise my authority.'

'You called her your number one?' The orc let out a hurt gasp, which almost caused the room to develop its own weather system of wind. 'That's favouritism,' he deadpanned. 'What ever happened to my honourable status as your floor mat?'

Loran listened to their banter. It was unsettling, to see the orcish brute act so human. It was only made worse by the fact that he considered human liver pâté a delicacy. Sitting at the canteen with him was the absolute worst thing ever - he'd take some toast, grab a butter knife, and smear the pâté all over it like jam. Then he'd eat the whole thing in one bite, keeping eye contact all the while, and do it all over again. Damned orcish cannibal.

Loran shifted on her knees - kneeling for that long was starting to become uncomfortable.

Gromon folded his arms. 'That is my seat, you know.'

'Oh, sure, you can have it. But then you'll have to be my stress-relief assistant for a week.'

'No, keep it. We all know what happened to the last one.'

The orc sat on the entire top of a table, and revealed a scroll curled up in his hand.

'I have received news.'

'Good or bad?'

'I would consider a battle requiring the intervention of Fort Perilous quite bad.'

'Fantastic!' The Sergeant clapped her hands in delight, and ran over to read the scroll. Loran crawled up from the floor, letting out a muted breath of relief, and came to stand by the Sergeant's side. She peered over the Sergeant's shoulder, and tried to decipher the strange hieroglyphic mess of triangles, circles and dashed lines. The reading lessons had paid off; Loran could make out many references to 'rebels', 'Fort Perilous', and... what was that last one? 'poisoned spike pit death trap with flesh-eating mutant penguins'?

That could only be Terribilus, there were no doubts about it. Loran remembered that time the General had been displeased with his honeyed pancake breakfast - in his fury, he had ordered his chefs to cook the one responsible and prepare them to be eaten at the canteen by orcs. The Legionaries still talked about it - 'spiced Amelia pudding with finger fries'.

'The rebels will be hit before daybreak,' the orc skimmed. 'Fort Perilous will fly at moonrise tonight. Our company has been requested in the Anti-Air Defence Force.'

Loran felt her heart drop. Not only was Fort Perilous a massive city-fortress of doom, it could also fly? But it had no wings! Even if it did somehow manage to get that high, how would it stay up? In Loran's mind, only birds flew. And fools, except they flew off of cliffs, and did that really count as flying?

'Ah! The illustrious and magnificent Anti-Air Defence Force! The one where we got to play with the blaster megaturrets?'

The Empire had a thing called blaster megaturrets? No, she refused to accept that. There had to be a limit. There had to be.

'Yes.'

'Very good, very good, it's been long enough. We'll be up early tomorrow, minion,' said the Sergeant, patting Loran on the head affectionately. 'We are going to have lots of fun.'