Short stories and other

Depression the Alien

I can't explain the thoughts, feelings or actions anymore. It's just this feeling of complete loneliness now, though I know I have people who are there for me and love to the end of the earth and back

Yet I seem so distant from humanity, this castaway with different emotions, and this alien to earth's weird popularity contest of "who's got the best hair" or "Is up to date on the newest trends' '. It's all one big contest and I'm in dead last

Depression and Anxiety are words people have given a terrible definition too, If you dare say you have anything out of what's considered "natural" people feel sympathy for you

Because you feel different

Because you've suffered something so bad that it's changed you

God forbid you're just a little different and everything falls apart

So you put on an act, you know what I'm talking about, waterproof makeup just in case, the constant saying "I'm fine just tired" you start doing it so often to where you try and trick yourself but you make it worse

You get angry. Angry at the world for making you this way, angry at the universe for giving you the crappiest cards in the deck to win your hand, then finally angry at yourself for letting you get this way

You think about how it used to be and "How it once was" then you snap

You don't show up to school for a week because the smallest thing will set you off, you barricade yourself from all human kind and you tell yourself "You're protecting them"

But you lose yourself, suddenly you don't know who you are anymore

Sound familiar?

Then when you come back you say you were sick and make up excuses to why you didn't pick up the phone or answer those texts and go back to what you consider "normal"

As days go on you became accustomed to the daily struggle of people leaving, dying or cutting all around you and you're used to it.

Until the one day where you mess up and the one person you counted on leaves

EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR THEM OUT THE WINDOW IN A SINGLE DAY

You're lost, not knowing what to do

You feel a numbness inside you

You tell one person just to make it better. And eventually you find true happiness again, but there's still a small piece of yourself you'll never get back.