I want her back...

January 21, 2020

Every time I talk to her I always think I love you but I can't say it. I have had a good amount of times where I have typed it but had to get rid if it because I cant tell her that anymore. Recently i started to feel better about everything, started to accept the fact that she wasn't mine anymore, that she was with someone else, but today I got knocked right back down to square 1. I always want to call her and text her but she has better things to do then talk to me. I hear music and I can relate to it because most of it is about love in a way and she is the one I always think about when I hear love. Hopefully I can fix what I've done because every day I feel empty. I know she isn't here but if I could call her mine I would feel so much better because I have someone that I can express that too. Yes I would like to have a girlfriend here but I can never love anyone like I love her, and it's hard to find someone that i have interest in here. If I could I would call her right now and tell her how i feel but that would only cause problems. I think I've gotten pretty good at faking a smile and acting like I'm fine, people here are falling for it at least. I would like to know who are the people who read my last part, odds are I dont know you but maybe I do. I have an instagram if you want to contact me there its jonathan_clevidence.
I will probably be writing more because it makes me forget about everything except her which is nice from time to time. I try to forget about us not being together and pretend that we still are in a way, it makes me feel safe and loved. Who am I kidding, it isn't gonna happen....