Grab your tissue boxes.
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"I want romance!" I exclaimed throwing my arms in the air and letting them drop down with a huff.
"Romance" he said with a tilt of his head and one eyebrow raised.
"Yes romance. I want dates with hand holding, and late nights with cuddling, and god damn it I want love letters, or something equally as cheesy. Just romance me!" I exclaimed.
He stayed quiet for a little while his head tipped down to the floor, deep in thought.
I breathed in deeply beginning to over think everything I had just told him, who am I kidding? I know Derek, he wouldn't do romance, or anything cheesy, hell he is like a brick wall.
My face began to flush with embarrassment so I quickly turned around and walked to the door. Before I could take a step outside, I felt a large warm hand on my wrist.
Keeping my back to him out of both my embarrassment and anxiety I waited for him to say something.
"Ok" he said slowly.
Not quite understanding I turn to look at him, his eyes were open, unguarded and vulnerable. It had taken me a back, to see any semblance of emotion in his eyes that wasn't anger, guilt, or negative.
With soft eyes he looked down at our hands and intertwined them, bringing me a little bit closer towards him.
"I don't want to mess this up.." he started "you are so good, and I feel like I might bring you down. Every relationship I have had was destructive and horrible, so I don't know anything but that. I want to be good and enough for you, I want to be a man you deserve. So just please be patient with me, don't leave me...." He looked down a little after admitting that before he looked up again, this time with determination shining in his eyes "For you I will try, if you want romance then I can do that, it probably won't be anything great, or what you expect but I hope that it will make you happy. I want this to work, I want us to work."
It was the most I had ever heard him talk about his feelings, it was astonishing to me, but I also felt deep affection blooming in my chest, he trusted me to admit his fears and doubts.
Taking a breath in and slowly blowing it out I untangle our hands and reach up to cup his cheeks. Brushing my thumb over his stubble I lean my forehead against his.
"Ok" I state "we can start small, I know that you think that whatever you touch is going to be destroyed or tainted, but it's not, you are good too, you have just had horrible things happen to you that were out of your control, ok? I like everything about you, flaws and all, so don't doubt that you are anything but enough for me, because you are and more." I lean back a little to look into his eyes
"Now, let's go grab a coffee, because taking it slow means that you need to take me on a first date." I say before smiling widely, I can see him begin to smile too before he nods his head.
"ok" he says and takes my hand and leads me out the door.
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Dear Stiles,
It's been a long time since the day we began the adventure called our relationship. I'm not very good with words, and I know that but like I said all those years ago, for you I will try. And I have been, this letter is actually one of many that I have written over the years. In the beginning they are pretty short and horrible but It's the thought that counts right? Anyway I am so lucky that you are in my life, you are my everything. Through the ups and downs I'm glad you never left. I have tried through the years to give you the romance you deserve, with the candlelight dinners, picnics under the stars, and my favourite was the time I tried to build a fort for you in our living room so we could have a Star Wars marathon. I admit when you walked in seeing me struggle to keep the sheet on the chair, your smile was worth everything. I'm sorry again that the surprise was ruined and you had to show me how to build a fort. As we grow older I often think about my family, how proud they would be to see me, it's a little bitter sweet but looking at you and our four kids it doesn't seem so bitter. The point of this letter was to show my appreciation for the life you have given me, you helped me build myself back up from the angry and guilt driven man I used to be. You have given me infinite amount of love and a family. So thank you for being you, my main support, my rock, and my wonderful husband.
Happy 30th anniversary baby, here's to the life we created and the many years we have to come.
