I heard my phone go off in the other room.
Braeden had fallen asleep a few minutes prior, not wanting to wake her I quickly get up and go to the other room.
"Hello?" I say answering my phone.
"Derek." His mouth whispers. I can imagine the way his lips would pout whenever my name graced them. His honey brown eyes would look at me with a glint of mischief.
"Stiles." I whisper, glancing over my shoulder into my bedroom seeing Braeden curled up on the bed.
"It's kind of hard to talk right now, is everything alright?"
Silence meets me on the other end but with my advanced hearing I could hear a few sniffles.
"Are you crying?" I whisper.
"Define crying?" He jokes, I can tell he was trying to make his voice strong but I heard the slight waiver that tells me he has been crying for awhile.
"Why are you calling me Stiles?"
"I'm sorry, I just.. I miss you Derek."
I let a sigh fall out of my lips
"Stiles..." I begin to say before he cuts me off
"I know Derek, I'm sorry but it's not fair, none of this is fair. You haunt my dreams, sometimes I wake up in a panic because I don't feel your warmth or your arms around me, and then I realize that I lost you." He stopped trying to hold back his cries.
"I miss you too Stiles, and I'm so sorry, I love hearing my name come out of your lips, I dream about you too, I see flashes of honey brown eyes, and milky white skin with a constellation of moles. Sometimes I hear your laugh and see your smile and I...." I stopped as my voice cracked, desperately trying to hold back tears.
"I'm sorry but you can't call me Stiles."
"I know Derek, I'm so sorry, I know you have moved on and you're with Braeden, I know you're happy, so much more happier then I could ever make you.." His words trail off in a whisper, as if he didn't want to admit it out loud.
"Stiles no..." I begin only to be cut off again.
"No Derek it's true. I knew it when we were together especially towards the end, you were unhappy, everything about me annoyed you! You were the one who told me we weren't going to last! We were so happy in the beginning and I thought we would be forever. I guess it was just the honeymoon phase. We would have never worked in the long run." He began sobbing.
Tears had began falling down my face during his confession, my thoughts trailed to the night we had broken up.
Opening the door of our apartment I heard Stiles banging around in the kitchen, soft music was playing because Stiles was conscience about the fact my ears could pick it up from down the street. He was so good to me, and I was so horrible for him. He put so much of his trust in me it was instant telling me everything was second nature to him, but for me, it took so long to even begin to tell him anything about my family.
He was my opposite, while he talked a lot, I was quiet. He would want to go out of the house and do something, but I can't bring myself to because there are just too many people that it sometimes overloads my senses. He is so warm, kind and caring, but me? I'm cold, stoic, and selfish.
I was so utterly selfish for not wanting anyone to have him, someone who was so much better then me. Someone who would want to go out with him, who shared the same enthusiasm to talk, and who hasn't built a wall around their heart with a hard time letting anyone in.
"Derek?" I heard from the door way, I looked up and there he was, a dish towel was thrown over his shoulder and I could see water stains towards the bottom of his burgundy t-shirt. He was washing the dishes. Most likely because he had made supper for us. My mind kept wondering to the parallel that we were. My self deprecation was taking over every thought that I had.
"What" I snapped at him, immediately regretting it after seeing a flash of hurt on his face. The hate that I felt for myself had flooded my mind like a strong ocean current.
"Nothing" he said. "I was just coming to see you, I made supper" he turned around to walk back towards the kitchen.
"Stop." I said not being able to take it anymore, I was holding him back, he was so kind and deserved so much better.
" I can't do this anymore, us."
I felt guilt consume me when he turned around adding to the pile that I already had. Tears ran down his face and a look of defeat graced it.
"Two years, gone, just like that?" He said.
"Yes" I replied keeping my face blank, this was for the best, I knew it was but inside I was dying. I didn't want to let him go but I knew that I needed to. He deserved so much better then me.
"Ok" he whispered, hanging his head down nodding.
He turned around dropping the towel on the floor and headed towards our bedroom.
