Intimidating Obstacles

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I wrote this is my english class. The prompt was to write a situation where fear overcame you.

A little background on the narrative before you begin reading it....

I'm a gymnast and although it's something I love doing there are so many obstacles that get thrown at me daily. I'm someone who wants all my ducklings in a line and once they're all thrown all over the place it's hard to rap my head around difficult situations. But no matter what I force myself to get back on my feet and keep moving forward.

Well, let's get started my buddies!!

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When athletes perform they have to show confidence and hold our head up when things become difficult. Sometimes people even need to jump a little higher to leap across obstacles that may be in our way. Every once in awhile, there’s that one obstacle that seems to be unendurable and we begin to doubt ourselves more. My obstacle as a gymnast, was getting back up when I hit the invisible wall of ‘doubt’. My journey through self doubt has been my whole life, but I knew how to stay driven and push harder.

Although this obstacle seemed to be unachievable. I knew that this time would be harder and the finish line of ‘giving up’ seemed closer than me achieving in gymnastics ever again. 

At least once when people are young, people might ask, “ What do you want to do when you’re older?” Resulting to thinking over the dream that seems possible at a young age. 

My dream was to do college gymnastics. When months and years went by, I seemed to realize how much farther away my goal was to achieve. Last year on January 8, I knew that when I fell there was no going back. 

“Our assignment on beam is five stuck of each skill. How are we going to get this done in thirty minutes?”, Hannah, my teammate, breathed a deep sigh in apprehension.

Although I felt the same doubt my teammate felt, I picked my head up and nodded in encouragement,“The coaches seem to believe we can achieve it, so let's not give up yet.”

We began our assignment and together as a team we encouraged each other through the tough assignment. As I prepared myself for the next skill in my routine like I always do. I stood tall, with my arms stretched toward the ceiling and my left leg out ready to commit to my dismount. 
Taking a deep breath, I stepped in and pushed off my left leg. Executing my ariel perfectly until I slipped my foot off the edge of the beam and kept twisting in the air, not sure which way gravity was taking me. I didn’t know what happened until the unbearable pain in my back overcame my whole body. The pain seemed to go every which way, making my thoughts scramble together and then burst apart, leaving only the pain to overcome every part of my back. 

My jaw started to hurt from the unstoppable clenching,“Alyssa are you okay? Where does it hurt?” I didn’t know who was talking to me or how to reply. All I knew was that this pain was unlike any pain I’ve felt. My eyes shot open and the ceiling seemed blurry.

However, that wasn’t going to stop me from getting up to my feet again. Right as I sat up, the shooting pain bolted up my spin, creating a knot in my throat and making it impossible to catch my breath. Wiping at my eyes I flipped over to my stomach and used all the strength in my arms to push me up to a sitting  position. 

My coach helped me up to my feet leisurely and inquired,“What part of your back hurts?” It felt like her voice was echoed and I began to feel small and claustrophobic. I brought a hand up to my back to somehow erase the pain. But, somehow, it just seemed to bring all the anxious thoughts rushing to my head and this time they didn’t scatter apart and hoped to be forgotten, they urged me to doubt myself and I did. I began to fill with pain and panic all over again. 

    In this moment I hoped to be healed and fixed with a snap of the fingers. But, I knew deep down that this changed my future in gymnastics. It reminded me of a time I had with my best friend. We were having a sleep over at her house and we were getting filled up on sugary candy. 

“Let's play a game!” I declared, always being the person that ceased the silence when it went on for far too long. 

“Well, what do you want to play?” My friend groaned out, more engrossed in counting the stars than love my company; typical.

I sprang up to a sitting position,“Can we talk about super powers!”

She yawned and forgot about the stars,“I think we’ve already came to the conclusion that you might be a little obsessed with marvel movies.” She sat up and grabbed a pack of kit kats. 

Ignoring her statement because I knew she wasn’t objecting, I continued, “You just hate the fact that Marvel is better than DC.”

Chuckling she looked up toward the starry sky,“Well..” she thought for a moment and this time I was patient enough to wait,“If you had a superpower, what would it be?”

Without thinking I replied,“Heal other people or take away others pain.”
“So, where would the pain go if you took it away from them?” She questioned.

I pondered for a moment, but I was confident when I told her, “I’d receive all their pain.” I layed back down on the blanket spread across the grass and continued, “Even if it meant I would be stuck with the intolerable pain forever. But, I’m sure no matter what...” I looked at my best friend and held her gaze, “that I’d get through anything life could throw at me because I’m the strongest avenger.” I concluded and together we both laughed wildly, letting our laughter echoed throughout the quietness of that memorable starry night.
   
But, in this point of time I was in the back room hoping this pain would come to a rigorous halt. My coach brought me to the cold tub and I slowly went down to my shoulders, letting the pain be numbed for now. In my daze, I started to panic even more. The fear of not competing in the season smacked me in the face like a cold, numbing winter breeze. I saw stars as I tried to blind away the tears that wouldn’t cease.
The anxiety seemed to suffocate me and since that injury, that feeling has never gone away. The frustration that runs throughout my veins seems to never be tamed. Ever since that unforgettable day; I’ve changed. My back injury changed me and I couldn’t stop the disappointment in myself. 

This obstacle taught me that sometimes the opportunity to jump over and across might not seem so easy at times. However, I know that with my teammates and family by my side, I’m sure that when the day comes for this barrier to get struck down, I’ll be assured that no obstacle can stand undemolished forever.

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I'm out ✌🎤

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~Redlynn~