Intimidating Obstacles

April 1 2020

Thank you so much for clicking my story/narrative!

Before you begin reading I just wanted to explain my writing a little further to make some sense of it.

This narrative is about the love of something you used to do everyday but now can't. The quarantined life style we all most likely live by now has affected all of us.

And I hope everyone is being safe and healthy during this time! Just know were all getting through it together!

I want everyone to know a little bit on how this period of time could be affecting me. I know we can't do the activities we used to do right now.

This is my realization as a perfectionist and coming to terms that sometimes change is good and we need to let go of the stress and go with the flow

Well, let's get started my buddies!!

~♡~♡~♡~

During this time I don't go to gymnastics. Although they've made some time slots and organized specific groups to go at certain times, I've stayed home. I used to get home from school, get changed, grab a snack and in 5 short minutes I'd be at the gym for 4 and half long hours. I've been a gymnast for 14 years, it's now over a long period of time that it has become a part of me. It's like my second skin; comfortable and natural.

I fell into loving gymnastics and my friends, that turned into my family because we spend so much time together. Over time I felt this second skin become scratchy. I felt uncomfortable the first time and it made me doubt myself.

Gymnastics is harder sport than some make it out to be. I've worked hard to become a level 10. I've had to become both mentally and physically stronger as a person. I know that throughout these years I may become maybe the worst perfectionist. I would do a skill and my teammates would cheer and be proud of me but I just knew that there's always something small to perfect.

Were my toes pointed? Was I all the way in handstand? Could I have straighter legs? I could've done better than that!

These thoughts trapped me, making me feel claustrophobic in this cage of perfection that was locked shut. Having a key and the thought of escaping my perfection was nowhere to reach.

I've always wanted a challenge, but, I think that if you get too many thrown at you - you get overworked like a sore muscle.

"They say you don't know what you have until it's gone."

For the past couple years I've hated the thought of going to gym after school. I'd wake up and do the same routine over and over again. But, the thing about being a perfectionist is that you have to do the same schedule everyday. One change makes your skin crawl and for a second you're frozen and don't know what to do. But, then it feels like it's another challenge and you force yourself to go with the flow, that everything will fall into place.

Then we had to be quarantined. The thought of not doing gymnastics for a while was almost reassuring until one day I woke up feeling something I haven't in a long time. These past years I've thought of giving up on gymnastics but somehow my best friends and family were at Solid Rock Gymnastics. Thinking of losing the gym and my friends at the same time would make all those years working hard turned to nothing more than wasted time.

But right now, tucked away at home I feel like it wouldn't be wasted time. I've changed so much into someone that'll become stronger than ever. I've talked to my friends from gym since not being at gym and I've realized that I connected these friends and the gym together. Which kind of devastates me a bit because they shouldn't be categorized like that. I've talked to many of my friends from gym since being quarantined and although we can't laugh and joke about every serious or funny thing on the planet today. They'll still be by my side tomorrow.

The friendship we all share is something special. We'll always be just that one phone call away. These are people that over the years probably know me better than I know myself. So, something I've learned is that although gymnastics isn't gone and it's put on hold, I know I still have that love for it. The need to do skill after skill and spend hours perfecting routines because I'm more than a gymnast and I know there's more to learn through this chapter of my life as a gymnast.

So, I'll keep pursuing working out outside the gym for now. Going on miles runs/ walks with my family and popping in a chocolate bar every hour or so because that's what my reality is right now. And it feels good for a change of the daily routine I used to have.

I guess right now I'll just take the scenic route. Roll down the window and close my eyes. Letting the wind blow my hair back and feel this new kind of freedom.

~♡~♡~♡~

What do you think?? Sometimes we realize during these difficult times what we truly love and want to being doing everyday!!

What do you miss that you used to do everyday?
Comment!!

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Thank you

Redlynn

Out!✌🎤