Little white rose

Bucket lists

If anyone told me three simple words would change my life I would have laughed. Told them to be on there way and leave me alone but that isn't always how it is. Things change and not always for the good. They can rip us apart and break us in half. But they can also build us higher. For me those three words were "you have leukaemia".
The next week went like this:
I had WAY to many blood tests and traveled WAY to many times to the hospital. I felt horrible, sluggish and weak.
As expected nick came with his family, we had a get well soon party. It was ok - for everyone else- I stayed in my room and I only spoke to hope and nick. I haven't been eating or sleeping and my grades have dropped. But I don't care, mum says I have been punishing myself but again I DONT CARE!
~
finally the day of my first chemo came. I had to sit in a chair and wait as the doctor talked to me but I hardly listened. Here's what I heard "- the chemo will take a while and you will stay in hospital after it to see your progress-" then my mind wondered to the world without me. Think for a minute if you died right now would the world be happy or sad. Like when hitler passed most of the world was happy and for me most of the world won't know. The only people that would be affected is mum, dad, hope, James , Katie and nick apart form that people would just sit there and ask "who is she" finally I was forced to go back to listening to the dr "- are you ready Cali" I know I have to answer.
"Um..." No! "Yeah" I am lead to a small room and sat down then something pricks into the back of my neck.
The world swims in and out of colour.
In
Out
In
Out
~
finally I am forced our of the beauty of sleep. I force it but I have to open my eyes. The glair of the open window blurs my vision but I can finally make out the image of hope. She is smiling but her eyes aren't.
"Hi" I manage to croak out
"Oh baby" she comes over and strokes my hair. It calms me and a fall asleep again
In
Out
In
Out
This time I stay awake I talk to James and he leaves finally nick comes in but all he does is leave a note on the tray next to my bead. I sniff the air, roses, my middle name and fav flower. I look to the note tied to a string is the most beautiful white rose. "Awwww" I look to the door nick is gone. I open the note. It reads:
I know everyone tells you to get better. I'm gonna force you to get out of bed and tell you to meet me at the 24 hour Italian restaurant your favourite restaurant. On the 7th. We are gonna have some fun. Xoxoxo
Thank you nick.
~
finally the 7th came and mum drives me to the restaurant she dropped me off. The cool air brushes past my now pale face. I shake, warm arms wraps around my waist. Nick. "Hello" I rasp out
"Hey"
"So.., what are we doing"
"Well, we don't know how long you-"
"Are going to live" I but in.
"No how long you will have cancer" oh
"Soooooo"
"Sooooo, I have created a bucket list. Of all the stuff you and I are going to do"
"Oh nick"
"Shhh" he puts a soft finger to my mouth "don't speak just do" he walks to a costume shop a few doors down. I follow behind. The store is old and run down with leaks and shabby clothes.
"This is the first thing on the list, you and I are going to look crazy and walk into the buffet and well. Yeah" he walks over to a straw hat and puts it on, then he gets some clown pants and outs them on to. He grabs a trench coat and finally a blow up guitar. Once all changed he buys the outfit. I am still sanding in the same spot, when he comes back he has a pink bob wig - I haven't lost much hair yet- with black stockings that are ripped and the smallest tightest blue drees I have ever seen. And motions me to a change room. I put them on and buy them. We walk onto the streets and back to the restaurant. I start to giggle I have finally caught onto what he's doing. We are lead to a table and the waitresses face was priceless, she was all like what the hell are you kids doing. We order some pizza and I finally lost it, we laughed and talked all evening, and when he dropped me off I feel normal again. Why hadn't James done this to me.? Who cares, we pulled into my driveway and nick looked at me "see ya tomorrow?"
"Yeah... Thanks so much nick, this was the best night ever" I paused "we have to do it again"
"Not that but your bucket list isn't finished yet" oh, wow. This was the best moment so I did it. I pulled him in closer and kissed him, he was hesitant at first but he then became fierce, his tongue thrusting with mine, it was amazing and I swear it lasted and infinity. Finally I pulled away and walked inside, looking back once to wave.
~
"So Cali how was it" amazing!
"Great mum"
"So was it fun"
"Yes. Yes" I burst out laughing again, remembering when the waitress who couldn't speak fluent English said what would you like and we order and she was like yes, yes, yes.
"I take it was awesome, I haven't seen you laugh in so long" mum instantly looked very sad.
"As I said mum it was the best" and with that I walked into my room and had a peaceful nights sleep, forgetting all about the fact I have cancer. :)