The Girl and the Librarian

Trusting the Librarian

Flynn had always hated hospitals, ever since his mother died. The sights and sounds of this room deeply vexed him; the monitor beeps, the distant murmurs of medical staff and the moans and screams of sick, dying patients. The illusion that everything would be fine in this room was just that: an illusion. He knew better than that.

He caught Sara staring intently at the heart monitor. "I'm not going to flatline, you know. It's impossible for me."

She snapped back into reality. "I thought you were sleeping," she said.

"No. Couldn't even if I wanted to. I've just been... spacing out," He eyed her, noting the small amount of fear in her deep blue eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Hah! You pass out, damn near getting us into a wreck–"

Flynn's eyes bugged out. "I did? I was only joking about that."

"– Crumple to the ground in a panicking mess, and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

He shrugged as best as he could with multiple pillows under his head and neck. "I care."

She gave him a thin-lipped smile while taking hold of two of his fingers. "I know. I'm all right. I'm more worried about you."

"It was just a panic attack."

Sara slid Flynn a dubious look. "Flynn, as someone who suffers from generalised anxiety, I know it's never just a panic attack, mate. What's the matter?"

He breathed in deeply, trying to find the words to convey what he was feeling. He felt a lot of things; scared, tired, queasy, annoyed that he was stuck here... In the end, he was able to pinpoint one: lost. "I don't know. That's the problem. I've always been so sure, and now? I don't know. And that terrifies me."

"The unknown," she said, almost sounding lost in thought, though she was very much at the moment. She could relate to him. "Welcome to the club."

Following a sharp inhale, he put forth the question that had been poking at him since he got there. "Did you call me a sweetie earlier?"

"I did. Too much?" Sara winced in anticipation of his answer. She knew it would freak him out.

"No, it's just– It's new."

"Well, I can't help it," She shifted in her seat a bit and avoided eye contact. "I mean, you are one. I think?"

"I try to be."

She smiled once more, briefly. "Look, I know I don't know you that well, but... I feel like I do, on some level. If that... makes sense. So... instinct told me to go with that."

Flynn put his other hand on top of hers and looked her kindly in the eyes. "I don't hate it. Really. It's just I've been called everything else but that. I'm not used to it."

"Not even by girlfriends?"

Ah, yes. Girlfriends. Just hearing the word made him feel like he was getting stabbed by Excalibur all over again. A small twitch of his lips was enough to tell her she struck a nerve.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to–"

"It's fine," It wasn't. "On second thought, maybe you shouldn't call me that anymore, all right? I don't want you to get attached."

It's a little late for that, sweetie, she thought. You have no idea.

"Anyway! I need to get out of here," Flynn swung one leg over the edge of the bed, then the other and got up. "I can't– Ahhhh-haaa aye, aye, aye, that hurts!" He slapped his hand on his lower back and massaged it.