i love you, but i am once again in solitude

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i don't know, i am here once again at my graveyard filling empty dirt pots with my red wine, the suffocating bends of shoulds and coulds and i am lying to you again and im building another wall probably tall and thick so i'll be sure you wouldnt h...

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i don't know, i am here once again at my graveyard filling empty dirt pots with my red wine, the suffocating bends of shoulds and coulds and i am lying to you again and im building another wall probably tall and thick so i'll be sure you wouldnt have a chance of riving my coping defence mechanism that had switched on as i raise the blades of relief, my head filled with drawings of cat scuffs and scab lines and dripping scarlet roses and damn this is so selfish. Love help me, i cant stop the waters of the crestfallen because my throat lumps kept on fettering my tongue from speaking up what's the truth and i don't know, i'm just lost again, feel this cloistered sensation again, the 'i can't penetrate the injections of elementary basic through my skin' again, and fuck, fuck, fuck with my grace, just look at this, i'm such a mess.

why do you even love me?

-c.

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