A Bloody Romance

Chapter 2- The Funeral

It was the morning of the funeral. I had no idea what to do with myself so I just kind of sat and drifted into a sort of trance for a while. It was only when Justin came and sat on my knee that I came back to reality.
Where's Aunt Carol?" Justin questioned.
That was when I realised he didn't know. He was absolutely oblivious to everything that had happened and that made me mad.
"Give me a minute mate" I replied concerned as I moved him off my lap and got up. His little innocent face looked so confused.
I left him in the room and went to go find Aunt Tiff, I found her in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand.
"Why didn't you tell him" I yelled at her".
"Why didn't I tell who what" she replied (by her response I could tell she had too much alcohol in her system).
"You know what so tell me, why doesn't Justin know that his Aunt and my mum might I add is dead".
She put her glass on the table and sighed "i just didn't know how to tell him" she murmured.
"Well he's sitting in there wandering where his Aunt Carol is..." I stopped mid- sentence. I just couldn't finish, it was still a very sore subject for me to talk about. After that I went back to the room where Justin was still sitting, with the confused expression still lingering on his face.
"Hey little guy" I whispered.
"Your back" he cried.
"Yeah I'm back and I need to talk to about where Aunt Carol is..."
This was so difficult, I just didn't know how to explain such a horrible thing to him, I didn't even know how to take it at first and I saw it happen.
"Aunt Carol isn't here". I explained.
"Why" he asked.
"Because she's gone to heaven now". When I said this my eyes began to fill with tears, this is when it dawned on me... My mum's not coming back.
Justin looked at me and I think he even saw my pain as he hugged me so tightly and whispered "she'll be safer up there"
I couldn't believe my ears, I was supposed to be helping him understand this not the other way around, I felt so stupid to let myself get into such a state in front of my 6 year old cousin.
*** AN HOUR LATER
I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't look too bad considering. I was wearing a black knee length skirt, with a black and white strapless top and my black heels.
Today was going to be so hard, but I couldn't get too upset, mum wouldn't have wanted me to.
About half an hour later a black Mercedes pulled up outside, it was time to leave for the church. Aunt Tiff and Justin got in the back and I climbed in the front, there was no going back.
A few minutes after we got to the church everybody started to arrive then mum arrived. My 3 uncles, my mums best friend and my 2 cousins carried her in, I followed and sat on the front row of seats at the front of the church.
The ceremony started with mum's favourite song playing. It was my favourite song too, I knew every word. Then the vicar said a few words about my mum's life. After that it was my turn (OH GOD).
I stood up and walked over to the stand and began to speak. "Me and my mum weren't like mother and daughter really, we were more like best friends. We did everything together and she never left me out... Ever. It wasn't easy losing her and it still isn't but I know she would want me to say strong, she was a strong one she was, I guess she had to be with me because I don't usually handle things well. I've come to that age where I have to be able to take things better because being an adult has a lot of responsibilities. My mum had lots of those... Again because of me, although I would help her as much as I possibly could. I used to love it when mum had a day off from work, they were the best days ever, we'd play games, sit and watch a DVD, do anything really it was amazing to have her around even if it was only once in a while. I remember the day when I got my a- Level results she was so proud me for getting straight A's I was proud of myself too and I was even prouder when I knew my mum was just as proud that was the best day of my life and I'll never forget it. I'll never forget anything my mum and I did together and I definitely can't forget her. Rest in peace mum, you're forever in our hearts love Kalyn".
I did go on a bit but you know what I don't care because it came directly from the heart.
The rest of the ceremony was a few prayers and the song playing again as we came out. By the time I came out I was ruined, I couldn't have just said goodbye to my mum she's my mum I needed her.
Justin came to find me when he came out of the building "are you ok" he asked.
"I'll be ok Justin" I replied.
"Let's go to the party" he said "we can dance".
"You go on with out me mate, I'm going to go home I'll see you later" and with that I walked away. I just couldn't go to the party, it was too much, I couldn't have fun when I'm so down, it just wouldn't be fair.
The truth was I couldn't face everybody, I couldn't handle people asking how I was every 2 seconds, I'd break down and I didn't want to do that. I had to stay strong for mum, I had to stay strong for me.
When I got home I got changed out of my funeral attire and put my pjs on. It wasn't any where near the time I go to bed but today I just couldn't care less so I climbed up the stairs, went into my room, got into bed and went to sleep.
I mustn't have been sleeping long before I heard my bedroom window smash.