Finale Breath

One last Dance

Shion, I will meet you at the train station.” Mrs. Whitestrum called as she walked past me office door. I shoved the last signed paper into the envelope. I sealed it calling out to her.
“Great, see you in a few hours!”  The last I saw of her was a hand as she waved walking away. I chuckled. She was nice. She had taught me a lot about government. More importantly, she schooled me on how not to show all my emotions on my face. It had helped a lot. Yet I felt changed because of it.
I walked out to the car waiting for me. The young boy bounced in the seat. Laughing I reached through the window to ruffle his brown locks. “What are you doing in there, Shion?” I asked as I pulled the door open to slip into the back seat beside him.
“Robert said he was coming to get you. I wanted to come too.” The boy had hugged me. Carefully I strapped him in with the belt.
“Sorry, sir. He wouldn't get out of the car.” Robert grinned at me in the mirror. He had been my driver for nearly five years now. I chuckled again.
“Oh, so you are to be my body guard but an eight year old is too powerful for you.” He shrugged as we turned out onto the road. Shion and I played a finding game as we drove out to the small bakery my mother ran. She had refused to move back to the city center with me.
“Oh, my two Shion's!” she called as we came inside. Rikiga came out of the kitchen.
“Right on time, ambassador sir.” He saluted me with a spatula. I smiled as I hugged my mother. Rikiga had moved in two years after the wall fell. They had been good for each other.
The dinner was typical. I had made it a point to come at least once a week to dinner here. Then another night I would send the car for them. It was important for me to keep those in my family close. Government was such a large change, I didn’t want this to change.
We laughed and talked over spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread. We discussed my trip over chocolate cake. Then it was time to leave. I would have to rush to make it to the train in time. I was able to read little Shion a story as he got ready for bed.
“I should be back on Sunday.” I told mom hugging her. “I will call each day.” I promised. My eyes scanned the counter absently as I turned to the door. I felt my heart skip as I saw the cherry cake sitting there. I closed my eyes.
Mom had made this the first weekend I had been back. After the wall had fallen. I hadn't been able to eat it. What I had attempted I had vomited up over the railing. It had been the first thing I had given him to eat. It hurt just to think his name.
Spinning I gave mom and Rikiga one last nod before walking out the door. Robert waited in the car. One look at my face and he stayed quiet. Rat. It had been so long since I had watched him walk away. I had been naïve then. Thinking foolishly that he would come back. He hadn’t. I could still see his face in the darkened window. The blue eyes, dark hair sarcastic grin. My hand touched the cool glass where in my mind his cheek had been. Was he even still alive? I wondered.
The train station was lite up, welcoming as always. Robert pulled my bag from the trunk. “Have a nice trip. I will pick you up Sunday at 2.” I gave him a parting smile as I pulled my luggage into the station. Mrs. Whitestrum was waiting for me.
We waited in silence for the train to arrive. My mind drifted back. That first year I hid behind the smile. I still did. It kept people at bay, or made them think I was fine. Dogkeeper had given me a gift, one year after he had left. It was a picture of she had found in the ruins of the theater. He was dressed as his stage persona Eve, but it was still Rat.
“Shion, the train.”
“Oh, right.” I gathered my things following my fellow ambassador to the train. We stored our bags after finding our seats. Tonight we would be going to the ambassador’s ball at number 3. They had chosen me because I made an impact on the younger people. I chose her because she was easy to be around.
That picture was in my office at home. It was hidden under some notepads in my desk. I had only seen him perform once. That picture wasn’t like the many still in my head. I turned to look out the window. It was a little over two hours to get to number three. I tried to sleep, but his face wouldn’t leave me alone.
Once there we went to the ambassador’s hotel. We had rooms next to each others. I showered first. Trying yet again to push that face back into the box. It was like this, one little thing and I couldn't put him away for days.
Shutting the water off I dried myself. I had a nice dark navy suit for tonight. I pulled it our of its bag. The cobalt blue shirt was just the same color as his eyes. ‘stop it, Shion' I ordered myself. Turning I tightened the tie taking in my new composed appearance. Just as a knock came to the door.
I opened it, my smile mask in place. I offered her my atm. “Shall we, Mrs. Whitestrum?” I asked . She laughed.
“Why won't you call me Betty?” she asked. I pressed the button for the elevator.
“It doesn’t show respect.” Her laughter bounced off the walls. We went down to the ballroom. It was nicely lit.
“I like it.” I said. We met up with the other ambassador ‘s for drinks. Small talk was all that was allowed. About thirty minutes later we were instructed to take our places by the door. I got a refill on my wine, then walked to the doors. Streams of people entered. I shook hands, kissed hands, filtered all the while keeping my smile in place. My mask. The names I would easily forget. Seeing the doors open for yet another stream I moved forward to ask Mrs. Whitestrum a question. She had laughed at me.
“Please, Shion, call me Betty!” she chuckled. I smiled at her already forgetting the question.
“Ok, Betty.” We laughed as we turned to greet the next group. A young woman in a blue and silver dress stood before me. My gaze slid over her. Another face another name to be introduced to my mask. But I couldn’t keep the mask in place, not under those eyes.
“Rat.” I gasped. He caught my glass. I hadn’t even realized my hand had opened.
“As graceful as always, Shion.” He purred at me. His smirk was the same. Those eyes didn’t blink. What did he want? The girl said something about him not knowing me. My brain wasn’t working. How could I think when I was this close to him, finally. It was then that I realized how little I knew him. That was what I said. A second before he swung her out onto the dance floor.
Rat, as allusive as ever. I watched as he turned her into his arms. Determinedly I turned my back on him. He had made his choice all those years ago. He had moved on. Now I had too. I gulped down the wine handing the glass off to a passing waiter. I grabbed another glass before he left.
By the time the line ended I had drunk a total of four glasses. This was unlike me and I felt wobbly as I moved away from the door. I steadied myself on the corner of the bar. I had to get over this. Slamming my fist onto the bar I straightened up. Turning I thought it would be helpful to go splash water on my face.
“Shion, did something happen at home?” Betty asked me. I laughed .
“Um nope no all good there!” laughing I wagged a finger at her as I stumbled over my feet to get to the men’s room.
“This isn’t you, Shion.” She looked concerned. I patty my hand on her shoulder.
“No, no its not.” I walked away then, those eye haunting my mind. I walked into the bathroom. Heading right to the sink I splashed cold water on my face. I heard the door open. I buried my face in my hands. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. But that wasn’t the thing people would recognize me for.
I reached up to yank on my hair. I hated this hair! I hated the stares it brought me. I hated how my life changed that day. “I hate this!” I cried at the mirror.
“I always thought it made you unique. Someone who wouldn't, couldn’t be forgotten.” Spinning around I saw Rat leaning against the door. Arms folded against his chest, blocking the world out. His feet crossed at the ankles. He looked so good. His hair pulled up nicely. His suit striking with his coloring. At that moment I hated him.
“Go away. Your good at that.” I turned back before he saw that not all the water on my face was from the sink.
“You were always good at following me.” He spoke softly. I snorted as I dried my face.
“No that was you as well.” I tossed the paper towels into the garbage.
“I was only good at getting in your way. Don’t worry…” I reached around him. Our faces only inches apart. My hand curled around the cold metal of the door knob. I yanked it inward knocking him off of his feet. “… I forgot that habit.” I said as I left him alone in the room. Why had he followed me in there? He had been the one to walk away.
“Shion!” my name on his lips. I curled my hands into fists. I wasn’t going to let him pull me back. I marched away. It was time for him to see me leave.
“Shion?” a softer voice called. I turned my head to see one of the girls that had been in line. It wasn't the one that had come with him. It was the other one.
“Yes?” I placed the smile back. Slipping the mask back on. Rat came up the steps from the bathroom.
“Do you dance?” she asked as she twirled a piece of white hair around her finger, I looked at it. She had most of it piled on her head, only the strand on her finger was lose. I grinned.
“It’s been awhile…” I teased. Rat shoved past us he walked out to his date. I held my hand out to the girl.
“You must remind me of your name….” I waved my hand at the people around us “There were too many to remember.” She giggled like a little girl.
“It’s Renee.” She told me. “I came with Pella and Rat.” My hand twitched at the name.
“Lovely.” It was a word that Mrs. Whitestrum told me could fill in if I didn’t have anything to say. I smiled as I brought us to the edge of the dance floor.
Rat was only two people away from us. I stepped out onto the floor, offering her my hand. She grinned taking it in her gloved one. The pink was horrible on her. She looked like some kind of cupcake. I spun her into my arms.
“Renee, a lovely name.” I said. Forcing the words out in order to not think about what was going on in my head. The first time I ever danced. I had taken lessons since then. But he, he was like grace on his feet. Smooth as silk he had been the best dance partner I ever had.
“You danced with Rat?” Oh no what had I said out loud. She giggled again. “He is a great dancer.
“It was because of him that I decided to learn.” I told her.
“Looks like you are doing well.” Rat’s voice came from behind me. I turned Renee around to see him. With a smile still in place, I bowed my head to him.
“You are still as smooth as ever.” I said. “I was just telling Renee that you had been the most graceful partner I have had to dance with.” I winked at the girl Rat was with, Pella. Renee had said her name was.
“You are quite lucky to have Rat dance with you.” I went to turn Renee away.
“I would like to dance with you.” She said. When I looked back, she had a soft blush on her face. Rat’s face had gone blank.
“I would like that.” I said. Renee and I moved away from them. I kept half an eye on the couple as I danced with the girl. Once the song ended Pella found me. She shoved Rat at Renee. I chuckled as the most dangerous man I knew, stumbled.
Taking Pella, I felt awkward again. The child that he had known didn’t know how to talk to girls. That Shion didn’t know how to dance or flirt or hide. That Shion had died watching the man he had told he couldn’t live without walk away. I had no idea what the conversation I had with Pella was, I couldn’t stop looking at him.
Rat stood on the side lines. He was with several of the bodyguards hired for this event. He looked at home with them. The way he scanned the crowd. His body up against the wall. Wait, could he be a guard tonight?
“Is Rat your escort?” I asked Pella suddenly. She laughed.
“Him, no!” She chuckled again. “He was hired to be my bodyguard for this evening. Daddy thinks it’s good I have at least one near my age.” She rolled her eyes. I smiled.
“Dads can be like that.” I said.
“How is your son?” She asked.
“He’s good.” I answered as the song ended. I walked her over to Rat.
“All in one piece.” I bowed to her.
“Ambassador Shion!” Looking up I saw the Senator from number two. He was a large man, known to indulge to much in both drink and food. The red face and stained shirt he wore showed he was well into his usual evening.
“Senator McKinney.” I shook his meaty hand.
“I understand you have created a Shakespeare theater program for children.” I smiled at him.
“Yes, it is a very successful program.” He laughed heartily.
“Yes, yes. I love that you are bringing the arts to that little hovel. What was it you called it?” he tapped his finger against his chin.
“West Block.” I felt my face heat knowing Rat was still within ear shot. “is no hovel I assure you. It has been fully incorporated into the city.”
“Oh my, the wretches there must have been unruly for you.” I straightened my back.
“I have many friends from West Block. In fact, my mother married someone from there.” I stated.
“Well it looks like I stuck my foot in it again.” He laughed slapping my back. “See you around Shion.” He said before walking off. I sighed.
“That was rather rude.” Rat was there again. I closed my eyes drawing in a deep breath. Slowly I let it out.
“Don’t you have a job to do?” I asked.
“How long will you be here?” he refused to answer any questions. I turned to look at him.
“Until Sunday.”
“Then you will go back to the city you love so much?” he nearly demanded of me.
“It’s not the way it was Rat, why do you still hate it so?” I asked. He leaned forward.
“I will never like Number six. It took my family, and you chose it over me.” He spun around marching away. My mouth fell open. Is that what he thought? Did he honestly think I chose to stay at number six? If he had come back, I would have followed him anywhere!
Turning I tried to find him. I shoved people out of my way in order to move throughout the room. Where had he gone? I spun around caught a glimpse of a gray coat disappearing outside. I rushed to the balcony. Where was he? I spun in circles looking. There. He looked back once as he moved around the corner. I rushed after him.
I caught his arm just before he went into the garden maze. “I didn’t choose number six, you idiot!” I yelled at him. “You never came back, I tried to find ways to spend the empty hours without you!” I was breathing hard as he stood there with no emotions. Looking at me like I was nothing. I flung his arm away from me.
“Well you were right; we have seen each other again. For the first time, I wish I had never met you. It would have hurt less to die!”  I ran away then. Slipping into the maze. I knew my way through it. All I wanted was to get away from him. I heard foot falls running behind me. I gave up on getting to the other side of the maze. I just wanted a place to hide from him. From the world.
“Shhioon!” He screamed.