𝙏𝙊 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙋𝙀𝙊𝙋𝙇𝙀 𝙄'𝙑𝙀 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝘿 𝘽𝙀𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙀 ⊳ 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧

014

who: one of my best friends
when: february 2020

•••

dear j,

three weeks and three days. it has been three weeks and three days since i confessed to you.

i know that you have been confused lately, especially on why and how i moved on from my previous crush so quickly. to be honest, i was already planning to move on from him since the beginning of the new year but i just kept quiet about it. after a friend told me that he didn't see a future with me in it, i decided at that moment that i should finally move on and i was surprised that you immediately came into my mind.

suddenly, all the words coming out of my mouth were related or about you. two of my best friends questioned me whether i have feelings for you or not and i kept quiet because i realized that i do have feelings for you. i then laughed it off, denied their questions, and told them that we were only friends but my mind recalled all of the moments that you made my heart swell inside of my chest.

all the times you checked on me; if i've gotten home from school, if i ate, if i'm asleep, if i'm okay, etc., all the times you comforted me, all the late night chats, all the times we ate lunch and/or dinner out with our friends, all the times you listened to me while i ranted about my problems or opened up to you about my past and insecurities, all the times you supported me, and so much more. the time you comforted me and tried to cheer me up when i had a panic attack due to my fight with my mom was endgame for me.

why did i run after someone else when the boy who wanted me was right in front of me?

i know that you liked me last year and i'm beating myself up for not noticing you earlier. i don't know if you still have feelings for me but i just want to say: you don't have to feel pressured about me. you don't have to be in a relationship with me. i mean, i would love for us to be together, but it's fine if you don't want to. you don't have to rush yourself and us.

i just want us to be okay because i don't ever want to lose you.

i genuinely like you. i like how gentle you are with me. i like that you care so much about me. i like that you always make sure that i'm happy and alright physically, mentally, and emotionally. i like that you are comfortable with me. i like that you believe in me and that you want what's best for me. i like how talented you are even though you, youself, don't see your potential.

i like you so much. so so much.

we only have a month left before you graduate and i am so proud that you were accepted into your (our) dream school. i know that i said that you don't have to rush us but if you want us to be together now, then i'm willing to do ldr. if you want us to be together when we're both in college, then i'm willing to wait. i'm willing to take the risks because you are worth the risk.

we have yet to talk about our relationship and i'm here if you need anything; a support system, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to your problems, a friend, etc. you are my best friend and you are such a great guy. i honestly don't deserve you.

please take care of yourself and please don't be sad. i'm always here to talk. i love you and i miss you (especially your hugs and human pillow moments).

adoringly yours,
annie