There’s a burn in your heart, which keeps skipping beats like you’re dancing, and dancing, and you don’t stop dancing. But that’s wrong, because you aren’t dancing, you’re just sitting down. You’re just watching, so really, your heart shouldn’t be skipping beats. Your chest shouldn’t be burning and you shouldn’t feel lightheaded and faint.
But you are, and you can’t explain that.
Hey, come on did you space out again?
You’re such a ditz, is there even a brain in there.
Haha, there’s nothing but empty space. Maybe we should call the doctor.
You smile, because it’s funny, it’s supposed to be funny. But that doesn’t explain the burning, the light-headedness, the jumping heart. You watch, and across the courtyard you see a couple break up. It’s…not pretty, she’s crying and he’s shouting and really, they should’ve done this somewhere more private but then you look at your friends and you’re happy that’s not you.
They can call you stupid, they can call you an idiot, they can say you’re oblivious. Because you are, because you try to be. Cause if you’re stupid, and oblivious then it’s easier to ignore the hurt, the betrayals, the drama that goes around. No one will involve you and you don’t need to get involved because they all think the only thing you’re good for is a laugh, so they won’t take anything serious to you and they won’t expect you to be capable of it.
Sometimes it hurts, you resent them for it, because you’re not an idiot and you can function like a normal member of society. But then you see people getting hurt, with broken hearts and lost friends and even if you are only the clown, it’s better this way because you can’t get hurt.
Hey.
Do you want to hang out later?
Just as friends I mean.
So when someone tries to flirt with you, and tries to drag you into this never-ending cycle of hurt…
You just act like a ditz, and you’re so dense that you just barely realize they want something more than platonic but by that time they’re fed up and they leave you alone, and you know they won’t hate you for it because you’re just too dense so you can’t be faulted. You’re safe again, and that’s all that matters.
It's not that I'm dense; it's just that...I'm afraid to get hurt.
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A Drop of Life
Puisi"I compare myself to every beautiful girl I see and wish I was that beautiful" "I'm not dense; it's just that...I'm afraid to get hurt." "This is hell, but this is bliss." "You are weak." Short drabbles on life, death, love, hate, insanity, humanit...
